struggling mightily against the still-attached pieces of skin and skull fragments that clung to the pavement like a warm tongue on a frozen flag pole. I turned around and stomped on his head with all of the force I could muster, the remains of his rotting skull offering no more resistance than the horrible Jell-O mold my aunt made for every family get-together since the beginning of time, seemingly undeterred by the fact that everyone treated it as an involuntary set-piece rather than something to actually be consumed. Even having just experienced the squishy nature of their bodies, for some reason I didn’t apply this knowledge to their heads. The abundance of force I used to jackboot John’s head into oblivion caused my knee to hyperextend thus adding to the layers of pain I was already experiencing. I now counted my left leg as the only pain-free zone remaining on my body. I managed to finally crawl up the scissor lift and onto the lower roof overhanging the entrance. I collapsed onto my back, looking up at the sky and remembering when I was a kid and I would create whole worlds in the clouds – pirate ships, monster trucks, zoo animals, you name it – where the only limit was my imagination. Now I was mortified at the thought of letting my mind wander, seeing what other horrors I could imagine, what nightmares lurked on the outskirts of my psyche waiting patiently for me to fall asleep.
Twenty years from now, if I’m alive God willing, I’ll probably refer to this as my “contingency plan”, boasting that I was prepared for this very thing to happen all along and that blind luck had nothing to do with it. Right now however I saw it for what it was – a fortuitous gift that I shouldn’t let get to my head because I probably won’t get that lucky again. Reverse Darwinism – the theory that dumb people who do stupid things are somehow given a waiver that protects against their own demise – only works in incremental amounts. If you start abandoning your higher reasoning abilities on a regular basis, the universe will have no choice but to eliminate you from the equation, if for no other reason than to protect itself from the limitless potential for destruction that your moronic mind possesses.
I decided the best course of action for me right now was to stay put until the throbbing that seemed to blanket 90 percent of my body subsided to a level that would allow me to think clearly and hopefully make smarter decisions. Even though sitting still meant I would be alone with my increasingly morbid thoughts, my body gave me no choice in the matter. I quickly melted into a deep, almost catatonic sleep. As my eyes clamped shut, I remember saying a little prayer that whatever kind of pain-induced coma I was clearly sinking into would make dreaming impossible. I didn’t need any subconscious reminder of the twenty layers of deep shit I currently found myself in.
I was awoken to the feel of a gun pushed into my face hard enough to collapse the inside of my cheek into the space between my upper and lower teeth creating all manner of pinching and pressure-related pain. The gun was so cold I almost mistook it for something that was searing hot, attempting to pull away from it before it burned me any further. But as I pulled away the gun followed.
“Don’t move” a voice whispered. It was male and its intonations gave off nervousness and unease in waves. “We don’t want to hurt you but we have to make sure you’re not one of them.”
“One of who?” I countered, still groggy from what was actually a really great nap. “Those squishy brain eaters down there?”
“Quiet!” whispered the voice, angrily. “They lock onto sound and follow it for miles if they have to.”
I lowered my voice now, “If I was one of them would I be talking to you now? I’m pretty sure that gun is on the verge of dislodging a molar. You mind?” I attempted to make eye contact without moving my head.
“I’m sorry but we have to