Swagger (Radioactive Tales of Love) Read Online Free PDF

they weren’t, he’d get to see them again. I was hoping they’d be there just so I could see his reaction. This male who had to be tough I was sure and for so many reasons that shouldn’t ever be.
    Cruz pulls me close to his side and I don’t protest. It feels way too good to fuss about. This was where we were headed if he hadn’t gone away. It’s really amazing how we just become so in sync with each other as we walk and our gaits match. I don’t feel awkward with him like I have with some other guys. I don’t want to want him like this, but it really is too late.
    Once again, he squeezes my hand.
    I look up at him and he smiles. Damn the boy was fine! His looks had never been the problem. I squeeze back and we continue walking. The closer we get, we can hear the barking of the sea lions and he speeds up until we’re standing there, peering down at them as they sit on the rocks. There has to be at least twenty of them of various sizes and ages. They’re so beautiful and strange looking at the same time, almost alien like.
    I love the look on his face. I mean it wasn’t like he was watching a football thing—a manly thing. But it is truly fantastic to see the smile on his face. “What are you thinking?” I had to ask him, I need to know.
    “I’m just remembering the first time I came here as a kid. My mom brought me here and we would count them together. I was about 5 years old then.”
    His voice carries a wistful tone and I could see it was a pivotal moment for him. I just held his hand, if he wanted to talk about it, he would. It seemed like the sea lions could feel the need he had for the perfect moment because they weren’t crazy loud like the usually were. I didn’t have to wait long.
    “Everything went crazy after the separation. My dad found out that she’d cheated on him with his best friend. I guess she wanted to start over because she didn’t take me or my younger brother with her. Though, why the fuck she’d start over with a family friend is beyond me. I also can’t understand why she didn’t take her kids with her. What kind of mother does that?” Cruz never turned his eyes to me while he spoke about his mom. He continued to look at the sea lions as if they might magically produce her. “Dad blamed us of course and shit just seriously went downhill then. I took my beatings along with the beatings meant for my brother.
    I held his hand tight and I couldn’t stay silent a moment longer. “Cruz, you should have told someone. I mean I knew but I always wanted to keep your secrets. Perhaps that was wrong of me and I shouldn’t have.
    “Honestly, I knew you had problems at home yourself. It was enough that I could talk to you about it. I didn’t want to let anyone else know. I was embarrassed.”
    “Yes, I know which is why I didn’t say anything, though now I wish I had. That was the one thing we bonded over.” I gave a half laugh that trailed off into the sounds of the sea lions, who’d decided in that moment to make noise.
    He moved and tugged me forward. “Come on, let’s walk to the other end of this place and sit in the sand. It’s beautiful and the stars are coming out.”
    I knew this was his way of trying to make it a little less cloying with the subject we were talking about. I nod and move with him. We walked in silence and I thought about all the times we snuck away for kisses and collaboration on how we would run away together—how we would make our parents realize they were hurting us.
    It’s almost comical how innocent we’d been. Love would always conquer all. We were fourteen and thought we knew it all. I exhale and he tugs me close to his side again, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we walked. The Boardwalk still looked brightly lit with others walking about, but all of that didn’t matter, except for the man holding me. It only takes us a few minutes to get to the far end, where no one else is.
    Cruz spins me forward into his arms and I gasp as his