brushing the hilt of her knife, still sticky with blood. That was all it took- she rushed to the bathroom and was violently ill. The cheese dip, burning on its way back up, was a stark reminder that she needed to find something healthier to eat. She debated on another prenatal vitamin as she’d sicked up the one she managed to take, but decided maybe some had gotten into her system after all. She didn’t want to risk a second today. Wiping her mouth with the back of one trembling hand, she looked into the mirror and winced back from the reflection. Once upon a time, she thought cynically, a strong, confident woman fell apart like a giddy teenager at a horror movie. It was time to grow the fuck up, she ordered herself, staring into her haunted eyes, trying to see past the deep circles beneath them into the strong woman trapped inside this shaking mess.
She forced herself to remember it all- it was a matter of pride now, demanding she be strong enough to handle what she’d lived through. She remembered the man’s gravelly voice as he ordered her to join him behind the counter and lie down. She couldn’t protest- what use was there in arguing with a man with a gun? Slowly she’d done as he commanded even as her mind struggled for a way out of the situation she found herself in. Her opening came as he was greedily unbuttoning her shirt. It was the last mistake he ever made- had he just ripped it open and fallen on her like a beast, or patted her down first, he might still be alive, and she’d be dead or a captive. Instead, he leaned over as though to plant a sensual kiss on her lips, allowing her time to grasp the knife hidden in her right boot. She took a deep breath and raised her hand, jamming the blade hilt-deep into the center of his throat. Gagging, she rolled away and threw up, crying as he died.
Pulling back to the present, she told herself to be grateful- there could have been a group of survivors like him in there, or he could have simply put a bullet in her. She should be glad he’d been considering rape- it was a death sentence for him, and she had walked free with the prenatal vitamins, pain pills, four different antibiotics, and a plethora of first aid supplies. The store next to the pharmacy happened to be a women’s clothing boutique. The blood-soaked clothing she’d peeled off was lying on the floor of the dressing room, and the only reminder of him was the knife she’d yet to rinse clean.
It was nasty work, but it had to be done. There was no hot water- as there was no power to the building she imagined that lack must have rendered the hot water heater useless. Nearly a full bottle of soap later found the blade spotless and her hands white and wrinkled from so long under the shockingly cold water. Grabbing a towel that the former occupant of the apartment had once hung carefully over the bar bolted to the wall, she dried the knife carefully so the blade wouldn’t be as worthless as all the electronics left behind.
With that task finished, Nadine ruffled through the closet in the master bedroom, looking for clothes that might fit her. A woman had lived here, and most of the items on the hanging rod were bright, colorful, and completely useless. She’d be highly visible in the electric blue scoop-neck tee shirt that caught her eye, or the yellow tank top with big, bold flowers of various neon shades. Regretfully, she ignored the bounty before her, merely choosing a nightgown to sleep comfortably in, her clothes placed carefully on the empty pillow beside her so she could snatch them up easily enough if need be. Slipping the simple cotton gown over her head, she climbed back into the bed and prepared herself to fall asleep.
Cursing under her breath, she gave it up as pointless. Now that she’d allowed herself that moment of weakness, she couldn’t shake the vision from her mind. She should be dead. If any one thing had changed, she’d be dead by now, more than likely. She’d considered so many