Suffer the Children Read Online Free PDF Page A

impress.
    I wish I had your problems , Ramona thought, but forced a sympathetic expression.
    She didn’t actually want what Bethany had. It wasn’t that kind ofenvy. She held no illusions that Bethany’s life was as effortlessly perfect as portrayed. But she wanted that perfection anyway, romanticizing a life in which her career wasn’t so demanding, Josh wasn’t sickly, she dated a man who was worth it, and there were enough hours in the day.
    Ramona’s inner clock told her it was time to check on Josh. She scanned the playground and spotted Trent laboring up the plastic rock-climbing wall. Her eyes darted across the faces, searching for her son.
    Where is he?
    “Josh!” she called.
    “I’m right here , Mommy,” said Josh, trotting over. “I was drawing on the floor.”
    Ramona still felt rattled. It had never happened before. Just like that, he’d disappeared.
    Like losing your car keys. Way to go. You’re mom of the year.
    “Josh, why aren’t you playing with Trent?”
    He showed her his pad. “I still can’t make a straight line!”
    “Go play with the other kids, Van Gogh,” she commanded.
    “I’m not Van Gogh. I’m Josh .”
    She made him surrender the pad. “Go. Fun. Now. ”
    Josh sighed, stood, and ran toward the playground.
    “Everything okay with him?” said Bethany. “How’s his health?”
    “He doesn’t eat enough. He picks at his food. He’s been drawing monsters.”
    “Monsters,” Bethany echoed with concern.
    “Monsters eating people. That kind of thing.”
    Ramona didn’t add that she thought she recognized herself in one of the drawings, a tall stick figure with long red hair.
    And you still don’t know if you were being depicted as a victim or monster.
    She’d been afraid to ask.
    “It sounds to me like he’s processing something,” Bethany said. “Has he had any big changes or traumatic experiences lately?”
    “For the past few weeks, he’s been in a new day care.”
    “Right. You told me about the woman who runs it. Her name is Joan?”
    “Yes. She’s good people. Although I just chewed her out for something stupid.” She recounted the story of her rushed firing of Ross, Josh’s getting sick, and his confession he’d eaten the homemade play dough.
    “No, you were right to be angry,” said Bethany. “She shouldn’t have made anything with flour in it that he might eat, even if it was meant to be a toy.”
    “It’s understandable, though.” Ramona glanced at the playground and located Josh. “She has four kids in her home every day. She can’t watch Josh every second.”
    “Even more reason not to have made the play dough. She should have connected the dots and understood the risks.”
    “You’re smarter than her. Tougher than me.”
    “Nonsense,” Bethany said, though she smiled at the compliment. “Our kids have no one but us. No one is going to fight for them but us.”
    “I like to think of Josh’s caregiver as a second parent. I think Joan would fight for him. God, I don’t want to be the working mom who goes psycho on her nanny for loving her kids a little too much. The whole thing was an innocent mistake.”
    “Ramona. Listen. I don’t want to upset you, but you have to at least consider the possibility this Joan is abusing Josh in some way, which might explain the changes in his behavior.”
    “What? Oh, Bethany, come on . That’s insane. No, I honestly don’t see it.”
    Joan shined with children and loved them in a selfless way that was genuine, if a bit intimidating to other moms. Ramona often wondered if Joan was what nature intended. Yet the woman seemed to exist only for her kids. Didn’t she want anything for herself?
    Meanwhile, Ramona was stuck feeling guilty because she worked. But what choice was there as a single mom?
    Either way, she’d learned, no matter what choices you made as a mother, somebody always looked down on you, or at least you imagined they did.
    “A four-year-old doesn’t just go from drawing