Strictly My Husband: It's funny, it's romantic and it's got dancing - what's not to love! Read Online Free PDF

Jerry, Tom’s best mate since forever, red-cheeked and jolly, standing next to his long-suffering and patience-of-a-saint wife, Hannah. Behind them hovered Will, Tom’s older brother, casting a lopsided grin in Laura’s direction.
    ‘There she is,’ cried Jerry, stepping inside with two bottles of wine swinging from his hands. ‘The hostess with the mostest. Is that the Laura Mackintyre infamous king prawn curry I can smell?’
    ‘No,’ replied Laura briskly, stepping forward to give Hannah a hug. ‘It’s probably Anton Du Beke. He’s dead and floating at the top of the fish tank.’
    ‘Oh dear,’ said Hannah.
    ‘
The
Anton Du Beke?’ asked Jerry.
    ‘Of course not,’ said Laura. How many more people did she have to explain Anton Du Beke to? ‘The goldfish was called Anton Du Beke.’
    Jerry screwed his face up. ‘Why?’ he asked.
    ‘Because we can,’ replied Laura.
    ‘I worry about you two sometimes,’ he said, shaking his head.
    ‘Not half as much as we worry about you,’ said Tom, strolling in and slapping Jerry on the back. ‘Hi, everyone.’
    ‘Tom, could you get Anton out of the tank and do something with him?’ asked Laura as she hung up Hannah’s coat. ‘I think he’s beginning to smell.’
    ‘Erm, I . . . erm . . .’ stuttered Tom, looking horrified. ‘I’m not sure I actually could. Will?’ he asked, turning to his brother with a hopeful look on his face.
    ‘It’s all right,’ said Will, beginning to roll up the sleeves of his red-and-black-checked shirt. ‘I’ll do it. He might get his hands dirty,’ he said, winking at Laura.
    ‘It’s not that,’ said Tom. ‘It’s just, you know . . . it’s dead.’
    ‘Exactly,’ replied Will. ‘What’s it going to do? Bite you?’
    ‘It’ll feel all funny,’ Tom continued, screwing his face up.
    ‘You big jessy,’ declared Jerry.
    ‘You do it then,’ challenged Tom.
    ‘Er, no, you’re all right. Will asked first. He’s good at that sort of stuff. Anyway, where have you been all day, Tom? Thought you were popping on to site for a cuppa,’ he said, hastily changing the subject.
    ‘In audition hell,’ said Tom, rolling his eyes. ‘Speaking of which, I hope you don’t mind but we have an extra guest at dinner.’
    So he asks his friends if it’s OK, seethed Laura, but not me, his wife, the one who’s cooked the sodding dinner.
    ‘Will he be supplying beverages?’ asked Jerry.
    ‘It’s not a he, it’s a she,’ replied Tom.
    ‘Ooooooooh,’ Jerry said. ‘A she? Details, quick. Young, old, fat, thin, blonde, brunette, legs . . . Tell me she has legs, and most importantly of all . . . the big question . . . would you?’
    ‘
Jerry
,’ gasped Hannah. ‘You’ve not even met the poor woman yet.’
    Laura watched as Jerry studied Tom’s reaction to his question. Tom’s cheeks took on a rosy glow.
    ‘Result,’ cried Jerry. ‘So where is she?’
    ‘Having a shower,’ replied Tom. ‘We lent her a towel, didn’t we, Laura?’
    Laura couldn’t take her eyes off him. He was still slightly pink from Jerry’s interrogation and now he was passing on the responsibility for allowing Carly to rub her naked body with their towels. She blinked at him and tried the raised-eyebrows approach again to indicate that all was not well with this new situation but Tom looked away.
    ‘Drink, anyone?’ he asked.
    ‘Do chickens cross the road?’ replied Jerry, roaring with laughter at his own wit. ‘Do you get it?’
    ‘No,’ Laura answered.
    ‘It’s a joke,’ said Jerry. ‘You know, why did the chicken cross the road?’
    ‘I know the joke,’ Laura said, not in the mood for Jerry’s off-kilter humour. ‘It just doesn’t make sense in this context.’
    ‘You know your problem?’ said Jerry. ‘You overthink things. It’s a joke, that’s all.’
    ‘But it’s not funny,’ replied Laura.
    ‘Why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes aren’t funny?’
    ‘Yes they are but you weren’t telling