had told her she was better than the way she’d been behaving. She knew he was right, but at the same time felt resentment for the truth in his statement. She’d been treated so dismissively before she’d decided to change her life and get in shape. Didn’t she deserve a little self-indulgence for all her hard work?
“Have you had enough time to think?” Mason’s voice made her jump. Lydia had not even heard him approach. She nodded.
“Good. I made venison stew. I would imagine you’re hungry by now.”
She shrugged, not wanting to admit that she wasn’t hungry, but famished. Lydia had never had venison, but the stew smelled wonderful. But as hungry as she was, when she saw the hard wooden chair pulled out for her at the table, she hesitated.
“Um..I don’t think I can sit,” she said.
“You will,” he said. “And you won’t squirm or fidget.”
She scowled but obeyed, settling gingerly into the chair on her sore bottom.
They ate in silence. The stew was amazingly good, as was the fresh baked bread and butternut squash that went with it.
“You’re a good cook,” she observed quietly. “I’m surprised.”
“Why?” he asked. “You don’t think guys can cook?”
“No. It’s not that,” she said. “I just thought that a guy like you….” Her voice trailed off. “You seem like the kind of guy who brings home the bacon and not the kind of guy who cooks it.”
Mason smiled and Lydia was again struck by how handsome he was.
“I actually took a few classes before making the big jump from corporate life to self-sufficiency. I didn’t think I could really claim to be self-sufficient unless I was able to impress myself in the kitchen.”
She considered this. “You really used to be in the corporate world?”
“Yep,” he said, leaning over to ladle more stew on her plate. “I was part of a consulting firm in Boulder. But all the while I was dreaming of living just like this.”
A gust of wind rattled the windows of the cabin.
“Just like this?” Lydia managed a small smile, raising an eyebrow as she did. She’d almost forgotten about the spanking, caught up now by a growing interest in her host.
“It’s not always like this,” he said. “This is the extreme, but I prepared for it by building the cabin to withstand storm-force winds. Most of the time it’s quiet. And beautiful.”
Lydia looked around. “But lonely, I’d imagine.”
He shrugged. “It can be at times, but I keep busy.”
Lydis knew she couldn’t pry but couldn’t help it. “So why don’t you have a wife?”
“Haven’t met the right woman,” he said. “My requirements are pretty particular. That’s kept me single.” He nodded at her. “How about you?”
“There’s no one…yet. I was hoping to change that over the holidays. I was…I was heading home to see my family. There’s this guy I went to school with. I looked a lot different the last time he saw me. I was pretty heavy, mousy. He treated me like a piece of furniture. He wouldn’t acknowledge me, wouldn’t speak to me even if I spoke to him even though our parents were friends. He never thought I was good enough. I was really looking forward to showing him how I look now, getting his attention finally and maybe…something more.”
Mason sat back in his chair, seeming to reflect on her words.
“So he treats you like you don’t exist, is rude to you and you want his attention….why?” he asked.
Lydia’s face flushed. When he put it like that, it did sound kind of ridiculous.
“It’s a crush thing,” she said.
“Are you sure?” he asked, lifting the ladle again. Lydia shook her head. She was stuffed. “Are you sure it’s not a validation thing? Are you sure you’re not seeking his approval, hoping to get validation that you’re somehow good enough now? If you don’t mind my saying, you shouldn’t be looking for that from anyone but yourself.”
Lydia sighed. “The world doesn’t work like that, Mr.