Stopping for a Spell Read Online Free PDF Page A

going.
    At the bread shop he said, “Er, hn hm, those are Sam Browne’s lusty loaves. I happen to know snuffle they are nutrition for the nation.”
    Outside the supermarket he said, “Cheese to please, you can snuffle freeze it, squeeze it and—er, hn hm—there is Tackley’s tea, which I happen to know has over a thousand holes to every bag. Flavor to snuffle savor.”
    Outside the wine shop his voice went up to a high roar. “I—hn hm—see Sampa’s Superb sherry here, which is for ladies who like everything silken snuffle smooth. And I happen to know that in the black bottle there is—hn hm—a taste of Olde England. There is a stagecoach on the—hn hm—label to prove it. And look, there is Bogans—hn hm—beer, which is, of course, for Men Only.”
    By now it seemed to Simon and Marcia that everyone in the street was staring. “You don’t want to believe everything the ads say,” Simon said uncomfortably.
    â€œEr, hn hm, I appear to be making you feel embarrassed,” Chair Person brayed, louder than ever. “Just tell me snuffle if I am in your way and I will snuffle go home.”
    â€œYes, do,” they both said.
    â€œI—er, hn hm—wouldn’t dream of pushing in where I am snuffle not wanted,” Chair Person said. “I would—hn hm—count it a favor if you tell me snuffle truthfully every time you’ve had enough of me. I—er, hn hm—know I must bore you quite often.”
    By the time he had finished saying this they had arrived at old Mr. Pennyfeather’s junk shop. Chair Person stared at it.
    â€œWe—er, hn hm—don’t need to go in there,” he said. “Everything in it is old.”
    â€œYou can stay outside then,” said Marcia.
    But Chair Person went into another long speech about not wanting to be—hn hm—a trouble to them and followed them into the shop. “I—er, hn hm—might get lost,” he said, “and then what would you do?”
    He bumped into a cupboard.
    Its doors opened with a clap , and a stream of horse brasses poured out: clatter, clatter , CLATTER !
    Chair Person lurched sideways from the horse brasses and walked into an umbrella stand made out of an elephant’s foot,
    which fell over— crash CLATTER —
    against a coffee table with a big jug on it,
    which tipped and slid the jug off— CRASH , splinter, splinter—
    and then fell against a rickety bookcase,
    which collapsed sideways, spilling books—thump, thump, thump-thump-thump—
    and hit another table loaded with old magazines and music,
    which all poured down around Chair Person.
    It was like dominoes going down.
    The bell at the shop door had not stopped ringing before Chair Person was surrounded in knocked-over furniture and knee-deep in old papers. He stood in the midst of them, waving his arms and looking injured.
    By then Mr. Pennyfeather was on his way from the back of the shop, shouting, “Steady, steady, steady!”
    â€œEr, hn hm—er, hn hm,” said Chair Person, “I appear to have knocked one or two things over.”
    Mr. Pennyfeather stopped and looked at him, in a knowing, measuring kind of way. Then he looked at Simon and Marcia. “He yours?” he said. They nodded. Mr. Pennyfeather nodded, too. “Don’t move,” he said to Chair Person. “Stay just where you are.”
    Chair Person’s arms waved as if he were conducting a very large orchestra, several massed choirs, and probably a brass band or so as well. “I—er, hn hm, er, hn hm—I—er, hn hm—” he began.
    Mr. Pennyfeather shouted at him, “ Stand still! Don’t move, or I’ll have the springs out of you and straighten them for toasting forks ! It’s the only language they understand,” he said to Simon and Marcia. “ STAND STILL! YOU HEARD ME! ” he shouted at Chair