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says
upon returning with a steaming cup in hand.
    I smile, extend my hand to grab the cup, and assure
him that that’s the drink I always order. A relieved smile stretches across his
face, and he surrenders the cup he’s holding into my proffered hand.
    Time flies, and an hour later, the three of us are
packing up and heading out the now packed café onto the sidewalk. Conversation
had been so smooth the last hour between the three of us, a welcomed change for
me, but now I don’t know what to say or do. Do I just say bye and leave Rachel
to talk to Kyle alone? Do I stay with Rachel while Kyle leaves? Luckily, I
don’t have to make that decision.
    “So,” Rachel starts. “Are you planning on going to the
party Friday night at Mike’s?” I watch Kyle’s face, trying to seem uninterested
in his response, but really my body is humming with anticipation for his
answer.
    Please be going! I
don’t know when I became so enthused over this party, but now all my synapses
are firing, and they’re firing directly toward Kyle. I want to go and I want to
see him there. I know it’s wrong, what with Rachel and all, but this past hour has
sparked something in me that I would love to explore, even if it can’t be with
him. Rachel is right that I need to get out there and find someone to distract
me from the convent I’ve assigned myself to be imprisoned in.
    I catch his eyes rest on me, and for one gloriously
sinful moment, I can tell I’m not the only one who’s felt something sparking
between us. He recovers quickly, seeming as uninterested in giving his response
as I had tried to be in hearing it, when he shrugs and says to Rachel, “Maybe. Are
you guys planning on going?” It’s probably just my imagination, but he seems
nervous waiting for our answers, less confident than he normally is.
    I let Rachel answer, if she doesn’t want to go any
more, then I won’t be going, so why say yes when the answer may be no,
depending on what she says. I wait anxiously.
    “Absolutely we’ll be there!” She smiles and jabs him
in the chest, telling him that he has to come now since we are.
     I feel his eyes on me, but I can’t bring myself
to look at him again. Intently observing a crack in the sidewalk beneath my
feet, I can feel the blush rising in my cheeks. This is my first college party
and that, along with the prospect of seeing Kyle in a more relaxed social
setting, is making my heart and stomach do uncomfortable things right now.
    I want to leave, but I force myself not to run like I
did last time.
    “Well, that’s cool. I’ll probably stop by, so maybe
I’ll see you both there.” I finally chance a look his way and see him staring
intently at me. While still holding my gaze he says, “I’ll see you Friday,”
then he’s gone and I’m left staring at his back as he walks away.
    “Oh my God! Oh my God!” Rachel squeals into my ear
once Kyle is out of sight. “We have to find you something to wear now so you’re
ready for Friday!”
    “Why are you so excited and why do we have to do it
now? The party isn’t for another two days,” I point out.
    “Because now that I know Kyle will definitely be there
I won’t have time to make both of us drop dead gorgeous all in one night. We
have to plan this out now so there’s a strategy come Friday night.”
    “Why do you care what I look like? I mean, really, am
I that bad looking that you think I can’t dress myself? I have been known to
clean up, you know. I just don’t waste my time when I’m only going to class,
then back home. Give me some credit, would ya? And besides, he didn’t say he
would ‘definitely’ be there, so you might be freaking out over nothing.”
    It’s as if she stopped listening to me as soon as I
began speaking. She doesn’t acknowledge anything I just said, instead grabs my
hand and drags me down the sidewalk, causing me to stumble and nearly land on
my face more than once. I finally yell at her to slow down, pointing out that
if