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kind of unspoken girl code, and Adrianna must get the message, because she sighs and turns to leave. “Fine,” she says, “but text me as soon as you’re done.”
    And then she’s gone, leaving me and Nat alone. Nat’s watching me with eyes that are unfriendly and cold, so different than how she was even just a couple of days ago.
    “Hey,” I say, wishing I could shake the feeling that this is a waste of time, that she’s just too mad for me to reach her.
    “Just say what you need to say.” She shifts her purse on her shoulder and looks at me like she wishes I would just leave her alone.
    “I can’t stand the thought that you hate me.”
    “I don’t hate you.” But now her eyes drop to the floor and she can’t even look at me.
    “What I did was wrong,” I say. “I’m sorry. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”
    Nat shakes her head. “There’s nothing you can do.”
    “It just happened,” I say, hearing the slight desperation in my voice. “After your mom said all of those things—“
    Now Natalia’s eyes narrow and her jaw sets. “Don’t blame this on my mom.
    Don’t even talk about my mom. She tried to protect me from you. And she was right.”
    She shakes her head, sighs. “Look, Cam, I don’t want to argue about that stuff. It’s in the past.”
    “Okay.” I want to take her hand. I want to tell her I love. But I can tell nothing will make a difference. She’s decided I really am the bad guy her mother thinks I am. “I just—I just want you to know that I’ll always be here if you need me, Natalia.”
    She nods but still can’t meet my gaze. “I need to get to class.”
    “Sure. Okay.”
    Nat turns and walks away and I stand there for a long time after she’s gone.
    Minutes must pass by and I can’t stop thinking about what else I could have said, how I could have convinced her, what I could have done to make it come out differently.
    “Dude, you really screwed up,” someone says, startling me out of my thoughts. I turn around and Brody’s standing there, looking at me with derision.
    “Yeah, I did,” I say, not even caring that it’s Brody I’m admitting this to. “If you came over to rub it in my face, you don’t have to waste your time. I already feel like shit.”
    He scratches his jaw. “I didn’t come to rub it in your face. I came to tell you to stay away from Kaci.”
    I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it,” I say. “That’s over.”
    “Is that supposed to make me feel better? She likes you and you just use her and throw her away when it suits you?”
    “I didn’t use her.” I start walking, hoping Brody will just move on but he follows right beside me. “You should stay out of it,” I tell him. “Why don’t you stick to stealing my girlfriend? You’re good at that.”
    Brody shakes his head. “You just don’t get it, do you Cam? Yeah, I am good at it. Because I care about her and I don’t just think about myself constantly like you do.
    You should stay away from Nat, she’ll be much happier. Not to mention safer.”
    I want to say something back. Something that hurts him. Something about the fact that deep down Nat will always want me, that he could never know what we’ve gone through together, that he could never understand how connected the two of us are.
    But nothing comes out of my mouth, maybe because I know that in a way he’s right. Natalia is better off without me. I did hurt her. And maybe if I’m not with her anymore, Raine will finally leave her alone and Natalia can have a little bit of a life again.
    “Whatever,” I say. “Just take care of her.”
    I don’t wait for his response, just push past him and head down the hall to homeroom.

    ***
    Over the next few days, I do my best to try and get back to living my life. I’m somehow able to keep up with my schoolwork, to do my best at practice, to make sure my mom’s getting to work on time.
    It’s all fake, of course. I’m miserable.
    I miss Nat all the time,