Still With Me Read Online Free PDF

to the mystery without explaining it. Jeremy only spoke to his mother about his sister’s death once. He was eight years old. His teacher, worried about Jeremy’s behavior—too silent, too calm—had advised Mrs. Delègue to take him to see a therapist. It was during this visit that Jeremy’s mother described the scene, eyes bathed in tears.
     
    “I remember, Mommy,” he’d whispered. Aghast, his mother asked him to go on in detail, but he didn’t know what to say. He just knew. That’s all.
    “It’s not your fault. You were there. You saw it happen, that’s it,” she tried to explain.
    Nevertheless, he sometimes thought he detected an element of reproach in his mother’s tenderness and his father’s silence. But the love they surrounded him with had always eased his fear. And ultimately, that absence, its stifled pain, and the tears shed every year on the same day by his mother had cemented their love. So how, today, could he refuse to speak to them? The thought sickened him.
    “I want to see them,” Jeremy said.
    Victoria gazed at him in astonishment. “You never go see them or answer their phone calls. You never wanted them to meet Thomas, and now, this morning, you wake up and decide you want to invite them over for your birthday?”
    Jeremy balked at Victoria’s curt description. Although he was beginning to believe that this was real life—that he’d returned from his journey into nothingness—here was a reason to doubt.
     
    “How can I explain? Yes, I really do. Do you mind?” he stammered.
    Victoria grinned. “Don’t try to switch places with me, Jeremy. I’ve always wanted to have a normal relationship with them. But you wouldn’t listen. I’ve tried more than once to talk you into it. I’ve tried to tell you. I even wrote to you about it…”
    Jeremy wanted to eliminate the need for any argument. “You’re right,” he stammered. “These are my parents, and I was wrong to behave like that, and I want to see them.”
    “You’re acting really weird today. But I’m not complaining. Here, I’ll call them right away before you change your mind,” she said on her way out of the kitchen.
    Jeremy stayed behind and heard her talking on the phone.
    He felt miserable. How could he refuse to speak to his parents for almost three years? Wasn’t his suicide attempt hard enough on them? What thanklessness. On that day, he hadn’t thought of anyone but himself. He decided his life belonged to him exclusively, that he was a planet lost in a cold universe. And during his hallucinations, when his parents appeared to show him how disgraceful his decisionreally was, he’d chased them from his mind so he wouldn’t lose his courage.
    Up to this point, he’d considered his suicide attempt to be more or less a good thing. Hadn’t it won Victoria’s heart? Out of laziness, he’d avoided any thinking that would’ve led him to recognize the horror of his actions. Yes, without a doubt, his behavior had been egotistical, stupid, and mean.
    His mind floundered; only the conversation taking place over the phone kept him in the present.
    Victoria came back into the room. “All done. Your mother was even more surprised than I was. I think she cried a little. It turns out she just ate lunch. You’ll have to introduce her to Clotilde and Pierre. They’ve never met.”
    “My mom? What about my dad?”
    Victoria made a face. “She said it’s a bit too fast for him. She’ll try to persuade him, but don’t get your hopes up.”
    Victoria stepped out to pick up some groceries. The baby slept. Jeremy took advantage of Victoria’s absence by searching the apartment for clues about the past two years.
    He opened a large white wardrobe sitting across from the bed. It held a lot of clothes, ties, and dress shirts. All of them name brand. He saw a briefcase sitting near thechair at the entrance to the apartment. It was inscribed with his initials, J.D. Inside he found a planner, some folders, a parking