had gone to the lodge by myself and grabbed something
quick—a grilled cheese and soup.
I was starving, and more than happy to tuck into my
food. Mom and Bob were talking, but they started to lose steam. Bob ordered a
bottle of wine and I sighed to myself—they were going to spend the entire rest
of the holiday half-drunk, I knew. So much the better for them, I thought.
Jaxon and I sat there, not speaking much, not looking at each other. There was
too much at risk. If we started looking at each other, we would start texting
each other. We’d start getting hot and bothered again. We would end up having
sex with each other again. We couldn’t do that.
The food was good; I had a steak and fries, with
carrot slaw on the side. Mom had roast chicken, Bob had baked fish. Mom
insisted on us sharing a huge baked Alaska for dessert and I sat there, hoping
against hope that Bob and Mom would just want to go back home and get to bed.
But instead, they were staring into the fire, they were cuddling up like the
newlyweds they were. “Shouldn’t we be heading back?” I just wanted to get out
of the incredibly uncomfortable situation we were all in .
“I think Mia’s getting bored,” Mom said, glancing at me with a hard look.
“We’re not spending enough time getting to know each
other,” Bob told her, shaking his head. I barely managed to stifle the laugh
that rose up in me at the irony of it. Bob thought we weren’t spending enough
time getting to know each other, when Mom, Jaxon and I all knew the truth. “And
of course, Jaxon’s being all stuffy. I have no idea what’s wrong with him.” Mom
shrugged.
“It’s always difficult meeting new siblings,” she
said. She gave me another hard look and I turned my attention back onto the
fire.
“Ah, Jaxon’s just that kind of guy. He was hell on
two feet when he was coming up.”
“Mia was pretty difficult too,” Mom said. “But both
of them turned out all right.”
“I doubt Mia gave you as much stress as Jaxon did
me,” Bob said, shaking his head. I realized he was half-drunk and looked at
Jaxon. Jaxon had his lips pressed firmly together; he was staring into the
fire, pretending like nothing was going on, like he
was all alone.
“Jaxon seems like a nice enough boy ,”
Mom said. I could hear in her voice that she was worried too. I remembered Bob
starting in on Jaxon the night before—hinting at things, and Jaxon leaving the
family room in a huff. He’d still been angry in the morning, but I hadn’t had
any way of knowing whether it was because his Dad was obviously trying to
embarrass him or because he couldn’t be with me and wanted to.
“Like I said before, he does well enough now. But
there was a time when I was convinced that Jaxon was going to end up in prison
for the rest of his life.” Mom laughed.
“Surely he couldn’t have been that bad. I mean, he’s
your son.” Bob shrugged. His face looked less attractive in the firelight, with
how stern he was, how irritable he’d suddenly become. Then he laughed.
“Well, you know, he’s not all bad, but he did give
me a scare or two.”
“What do you mean?” Mom’s curiosity overcame her
caution and I felt a jolt of dread in the pit of my stomach. This was a bad
idea. I could see Jaxon go tense in the corner of my eye, but I couldn’t look
directly at him.
“Oh, he was the worst kind of rebellious teenager.
It’s probably something to do with his mother being gone by then.” Bob
shrugged. “Everything a kid could possibly do to get in trouble, he did.”
“Like what?” Bob grinned.
“Well he started small. You know—cutting classes,
talking back to his teachers, pulling pranks.” I nodded quietly. Maybe, I
thought, if Bob saw how bored we were with the topic at hand, he’d give it up.
Find something else to talk about .
“That sounds about normal, especially if he’d lost
his mom.”
Bob laughed. “Yeah well, that was only the tip of
the iceberg. I tried grounding him, I
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