State of the Onion Read Online Free PDF Page A

during difficult press briefings, he nodded. “The Secret Service is handling the incident in cooperation with other agencies, and the man has been taken into custody. I just wanted to let you know so that you don’t worry about your safety here at the White House.”
    My safety?
    â€œI wasn’t worried.” Words raced through my mind, all out of order. I’d never had so much difficulty putting sentences together. “That is…not for myself. The man was trying to get to you, sir. He said he needed to warn you.”
    â€œYou spoke with him?”
    â€œNo,” I said. I pictured myself standing over the guy, skillet in hand. “It was more like he tried to talk to me.”
    The president waited.
    â€œHe…he said you were in danger.”
    The president’s face was grim. “As are we all, in times like these.” We both felt the weight of his words. “The security staff might have a few more questions for you. Don’t be alarmed if they call you in again.”
    He must have caught my quick glance at the clock.
    â€œI didn’t have a chance to eat breakfast this morning,” he said. “Scrambled eggs and toast will be enough for now.” He smiled at me. “And Mrs. Campbell informs me that tonight’s menu for India’s prime minister is your creation.”
    I nodded.
    â€œThen I’m very much looking forward to dinner.”
    â€œThank you, sir. I hope everyone enjoys it.”
    â€œI’m sure we all will.”
    He stretched out his hand. It was only the second time I’d shaken the president’s hand, but this time was just as thrilling as the first. “And, Ollie, one more thing.” He fixed me with those intense blues again. “Other than Secret Service personnel, I would appreciate it if you don’t speak of this morning’s events with anyone else.”

CHAPTER 3
    â€œOLLIE, ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT’S HAPPENING?” Henry walked in moments later, talking up a storm. “I just passed the president in the corridor. Was he in here with you?”
    I opened my mouth to speak, but stopped myself as Cyan and Marcel appeared behind Henry. Not thirty seconds before, the president of the United States of America had asked me not to discuss this with anyone, and here I was about to spill the spaghetti with my coworkers.
    â€œYeah,” I said, “he’d like scrambled eggs for breakfast.”
    Henry glanced in the direction the president had exited and gave me a thoughtful look. “He came down here to tell you that in person?”
    I nodded.
    Although he was set to retire on his sixty-seventh birthday, Henry was still one of the most vibrant and quick-witted people I knew. He was also the most talented chef I’d ever worked under. It was just in the past couple of years that I’d noticed him taste-testing more often, as evidenced by his expanding waistline, and delegating the more physically demanding tasks to us. His light brown hair had started to thin and go gray at the temples, but his voice was just as resonant as it had been when I’d joined his staff during the administration immediately prior to this one.
    Cyan’s eyes widened. “That’s all he said? Why did he have to talk with you in person, then? Alone? I bet it had something to do with all the commotion outside this morning. Did it? Hey, you must have been outside when it happened, weren’t you?”
    Henry picked up on Cyan’s comment, but she didn’t seem to notice her gaffe. “What commotion? You were outside, Ollie?”
    I shook my head, “I forgot my keys down by the staff entrance.” I hated lying to Henry, but between the president’s words and the need to keep my errand secret if we were to pull off our surprise, I didn’t think I had much choice.
    He smiled. “Maybe you should tie those keys around your neck.” He let out a satisfied sigh. “As for