Starting Over Read Online Free PDF Page B

changed. She wasn’t the same woman who’d walked out of
their house a few months ago. “Okay, we don’t have to,” he said,
trying to ignore that her dismissal hurt more than he’d have
thought it would. He finally understood how she felt when he told
her they would talk about having a baby when and if she finally got
pregnant. “I just wanted you to know that when you’re ready,
there’s no reason why we can’t have a baby. I mean, your doctor
said everything was fine before you went away, right?”
    “Yeah, that’s
what she said.” Sighing, Eve got out of bed and padded to the small
closet to retrieve a short, white terrycloth robe. After she
slipped it on, she walked toward the window and pressed her
forehead to the glass. “I wanted nothing more than to have your
baby, but that seems like a lifetime ago. I don’t even remember
what it felt like to feel that way anymore.”
    If she’d
sucker-punched him, she couldn’t have hurt him more. “Are you
saying you don’t want me anymore or just that you don’t want my
baby?” He knew deep down they were one and the same. Eve wanted to
be a mother, and if she didn’t want a baby with him, that meant she
would find someone else who wanted a family as much as she did.
Staring at her in the moonlight streaming through the window, Alex
couldn’t believe he’d been stupid enough to take what they had for
granted. He cursed himself for not taking her seriously all the
times she’d talked about getting pregnant, begging him to show some
interest in starting a family with her. As the love of his life,
she deserved the best of him, and she’d gotten so much less than
that.
    “It’s too late
to go back.” She turned back to him. “I know that may not be what
you want to hear, but that’s what my heart is telling me.” Wrapping
her arms around her mid-section, she walked toward the bed and sat
beside him. She took his hand. “You gave me some of the happiest
years of my life—”
    “Don’t.”
Grabbing the back of her neck, he brought her head toward his.
Resting his forehead against hers, he closed his eyes. “I’ve given
you every reason to give up on me, but I’m begging you… If you love
me even half as much as I love you, just give me one more chance to
get this right, to be the husband I should have been all
along.”
    Touching his
face, she said with a sad smile, “You weren’t a bad husband.”
    “We both know
that’s a lie. This is all on me.” He thought about some of their
conversations, her following him from room to room and trying so
hard to get his attention. All she’d wanted was a few moments of
his time, and he couldn’t even give her that. He didn’t have many
regrets, but the way he’d treated his wife ranked highest on his
list of sins.
    “I stayed. I
didn’t have to.” Pulling back, she held his hand and stared at
their joined hands. “Making love tonight was a mistake. I just
wanted to feel better for a while, and I shouldn’t have used you
that way. I’m so sorry.”
    Eve was the
last person to put her needs above someone else’s. She had always
been the selfless one in their relationship. “If I could give you a
few minutes of pleasure tonight, I’m glad I was here.” His voice
sounded foreign to his ears, his words hollow. That wasn’t what he
wanted to say. He wanted to yell and scream and throw things and
demand to know how she could give up on them when he still loved
her as though his next breath depended on her. But he couldn’t
guilt her into staying married to him. That wouldn’t benefit either
of them.
    “I want you to
go home tomorrow, Alex.”
    Closing his
eyes, his mind rallied against her request. Leaving her when she
needed him most felt so wrong. “I want to be here for you, to help
you through this. I know how much Sharon meant to you.”
    “That’s why I
need to grieve for her without the added drama of worrying about
where things stand between us.”
    He couldn’t
blame her for