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point! I don’t want him to know .”
    If word got round, it would be all my fault. I should just have kept quiet! I’d done what I always swore I wouldn’t: I’d let myself be provoked. I’d insultedMarigold in front of her groupies, and now she’d gone and dragged Josh into it. He was going to think I’d betrayed him! Why, why, why couldn’t I have kept my big mouth shut? Just a few weeks earlier, before I’d even known about the Top Spot contest, I’d gone round to Josh’s place and we’d written a new song – How Cool am I? – and afterwards we’d sat and talked, cos Josh and I do a lot of talking, and he’d said he had something he wanted to tell me. And then he’d hesitated, and I said, “Well, go on! What?” and it all came out in a great rush.
    â€œI’m not absolutely certain but it’s this feeling I’ve had for a long time… I think I might be gay!”
    I said, “Oh.” And then, “Really?” And then, “Gosh.” Like something out of Enid Blyton. I gave up reading Enid Blyton when I was about five . To make matters worse I then added, “Wow.”
    Josh said, “Yeah. Wow.”
    â€œWell, but I mean…” What did I mean? I didn’t mean anything. I was just, like, totally thrown. It’s notvery often I’m at a loss for words, usually I have too many, but for once I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. So I went and said something even stupider than wow, I said, “How do you know?”
    â€œI dunno,” said Josh. “It’s just something I feel.”
    â€œMm.” I nodded. “OK. So…”
    He looked at me, rather solemnly. “So how do you feel?”
    â€œMe? I feel like – so what? What difference does it make? You’re still you. So long as we’re not going to fancy the same guys!”
    I said that just to show him that I was cool. That now I’d got my head round the idea I was just, like, totally and utterly relaxed.
    â€œYou’re the only person I’ve told,” said Josh.
    â€œNot even Robert? Not even Damian?”
    Josh said, “Specially not Robert or Damian.”
    They are two boys in our class. They’re clever, like Josh. The three of them tend to hang out together.
    â€œWhy specially not them?” I said. “Don’t youreckon they’d be OK with it?”
    â€œI guess – yeah! Probably. It’s just… I don’t particularly want anyone else to know.”
    â€œJust me?”
    I think that was one of the proudest moments of my life. That Josh had chosen me ! But I still had to ask him. “Why me and not anybody else?”
    He said, “Cos I feel you’re someone I can talk to. Maybe the only person I can talk to.”
    â€œNot even your mum and dad?”
    â€œGod, no!” He reared away in horror. “I’m not gonna tell them!”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œAre you mad? Would you tell your mum?”
    I said, “N-no. But I’d tell yours!” Josh’s mum and dad are really nice. Really supportive. “You should tell them,” I said. “Otherwise you know what’ll happen… they’ll start teasing you about girlfriends, and it’ll just be, like, so embarrassing. It’s what my mum does about boys. It curls me up! You should tell them now,” I said,“so they have time to get used to it. You don’t want to spring it on them later.”
    Josh said he didn’t want to spring it on them at all. “There isn’t any reason for them to know. There isn’t any reason for anyone to know.”
    Just me. I assured him that I wouldn’t breathe a word to a soul, not even Indy, and I snatched up my guitar and started singing the song we’d just written.
    How cool am I ?
    Think about about about a
    NICE cube
    Think about about about a
    NICE cream
    Think about a nice