Spiritual Care: A Guide for Caregivers Read Online Free PDF

people will throw out subtle clues that they want to talk about spiritual things, but they aren't sure how
you will respond. Does she mention God, prayer, faith, church or
religious topics (even briefly)? Does he want a visit from the pastor? Does she express fear of death? I once cared for a postoperative patient in the hospital who kept putting on his call light to ask
for cough syrup. Finally, he said, "I keep coughing and coughing.
Do you think I might die?" I could have merely assured him that
his trachea was just irritated from the breathing tube used during
surgery, but something made me explore further. It turned out
that he was afraid that he had lung cancer (which he did not),
because he thought God was punishing him for being unfaithful to
his wife.

    Notice interpersonal relationships. How do family members interact? Who visits? How does the person respond to visitors? Does
the person appear to be a loner? If so, does that seem to be a deliberate choice or the result of poor interpersonal skills? Could the
person be a victim of emotional or physical abuse?
    For example, after suffering a mild stroke, Myrtle moved in
with her son and his family. A sweet, quiet woman, she had faithfully attended worship services and a women's Bible study for
years but stopped when she could no longer drive.
    Jen, the parish nurse from her church, visited weekly, but
Myrtle seemed like a different person in her son's home. The family members were loud and inconsiderate of one another, often
shouting obscenities. The house was thick with cigarette smoke, to
which Myrtle was allergic. Myrtle's room was an unheated back
porch that had been enclosed. The only bathroom to which she
had access contained a toilet and sink but no bathing facilities.
Her eyes were red and watery, and she coughed constantly. Jen
offered to take her to the doctor. On the way, Myrtle poured out
her story of emotional abuse, explaining that her son had tricked her into signing over the house and her bank account to him. Suddenly Myrtle stopped talking, telling Jen she feared reprisal if her
family discovered she was talking. Then she continued, "Why
does God allow this to happen?"

Interpreting
    The next step in the assessment process is discovering the meaning behind your observations. Observations can be deceiving.
They need testing. For instance, Carla and Anna, unmarried sisters who lived with their mother, Edna, appeared to care solicitously for Edna when she became chronically ill. Others in the
church openly admired their dedication. However, one day Carla
and Anna were away when Mary, the parish nurse, visited. Mary
commented on how kind the sisters appeared. Edna's face darkened and she replied, "They're mean to me!" Mary probed gently,
asking for more details. "Well, when I don't move fast enough,
sometimes they hit me," Edna explained, slowly raising her sleeve
to reveal a large bruise.
    Asking open-ended questions about items surrounding a person may reveal surprises or allow for further discussion. For
example, you could remark, "I see you have a well-used Bible on
your coffee table. Do you have a favorite passage?" One person
may use that as an opportunity to share the comfort a particular
passage has provided, while another may explain that the Bible
belonged to another family member who had used it to judge and
condemn.
    Mary Sue, a part-time youth worker in a neighboring church,
frequently referred to her "prayer closet" when I visited, explaining that Jesus commanded us in Matthew 6:6 to go into a closet to
pray. It never occurred to me to ask to see the prayer closet. One
day she offered to show it to me. As she opened the door, the thick smell of incense filled the room. Inside the closet she had placed a
large pillow on the floor facing an altar with candles and a cross -
along with an incense pot, a string of Muslim prayer beads, a
rosary, and statues-of Buddha, Vishnu and an assortment of
unfamiliar