I saw her walk up the
drive, my heart would sink and I would begin planning excuses to
make a sharp exit. For Mum’s sake I tried to keep things civil, and
even managed some polite conversation, but the words were forced
and awkward, with Mum jumping in every other word, trying to jolly
us along. It was pitiful.
I sighed and picked up my
latte. I had to stop torturing myself by raking over the details.
It didn’t matter how many times I thought it through and tried to
make excuses for Michelle, nothing could change the fact that she
slept with my boyfriend behind my back.
I closed my eyes to concentrate
my thoughts, and jumped when the tinnitus started up again. Louder
this time, noises rushed furiously inside my head. In the
background there was another less distinctive sound. It was the
same whispering sounds as before, but I couldn’t pick out actual
words. My head started to thump, so I opened my eyes and felt
relief as the volume dipped sharply.
My stomach wouldn’t stop
churning, and I only managed a couple more bites of the Panini. I
dropped it back on the plate, and finished off the latte instead.
Then I stacked the glass on my plate, and looked round to say
thanks to the guy who had served me. He’d been staring and his
cheeks flushed with colour.
Back on the street I felt a
trickle of sweat run down my spine. It was guilt. Using Lydia made
me feel dirty and I longed to switch back into my own body and
forget the whole thing. I don’t know what I’d expected to discover
parading around as Lydia, but I was no closer to finding anything
out than when I’d been in my own body.
Amongst the crowds of people
walking along, I spotted a man with an orange glow above him. It
reminded me of the woman on the bus earlier, but clearly there were
no skylights around this time. As he drew closer I saw the orange
glow was actually a mixture of colours; different hues of red,
yellow and gold, pulsing and swirling together to form the orange
light.
The man stopped walking and
stared directly at me. I gave him a half-smile as I tried to fathom
out what was causing the strange effect above him. He didn’t smile
back. In fact, his face fell into a frown and he jabbed his finger
towards his wrist. I checked behind to see if he was signalling to
someone else, but there was no one obvious. I looked back at him,
shrugged apologetically and carried on walking.
After a couple of hours spent
aimlessly wandering, I checked my watch and felt relieved it was
time to head to the garage.
I didn’t know the area very
well, but I had a rough idea where all the big garages were. I
headed away from the hustle and bustle of the main street, towards
a side-road that I thought would lead me to the street I
needed.
I began walking up a gentle
slope, towards some shabby-looking industrial units at the top.
After a few steps, as usual, I doubted my sense of direction and
turned to look behind me. I squinted towards the sign and caught my
breath. Standing at the bottom of the hill was the man with the
orange glow. He was watching me, and he looked furious.
I turned round, fixed my eyes
forward and quickened my pace. Beads of sweat formed on my brow and
upper lip as I panted, walking as fast as I could without actually
running. I was sure if I did break into a run, he would too. All
the while I listened for his footsteps behind me.
After a few metres, I checked
over my shoulder to see if he was following. Relief washed over me
when I saw he hadn’t moved. He had his hand up to his ear like he
was talking to someone on the phone. I was too far away to hear any
conversation, but I could tell he was still watching me.
As I drew level with the first
warehouse, I could just make out a garage on the corner up ahead.
It wasn’t the BMW one I needed, but I knew they were all clustered
together, so at least I was in the right location.
I tried to shake off the panic.
Obviously being Lydia wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I usually
wandered