Sorrow Bound Read Online Free PDF Page A

God …’
    He senses her words as much as hears them, whispered againsthis skin. Gently, as if she is made of shattered porcelain, he lifts her back into a seated position and tries to raise her head to look in her eyes. She ducks from his gaze and then, unexpectedly, gives a little pop of laughter.
    ‘Your shirt, I’m so sorry …’
    McAvoy looks down at his waistcoat, and the mess of mucus and tears.
    ‘It doesn’t matter.’
    ‘Here, I have a tissue …’
    ‘Your need is greater than mine.’
    She stops talking then. Just looks at him. Then she uses her wrists to dry her eyes, and pulls a paper tissue from the pocket of her skirt. She dabs her nose.
    ‘Don’t. Give it a proper blow,’ says McAvoy.
    Elaine blows her nose. Folds the hankie. Blows it again.
    ‘You’re a dad, then?’ she asks, tucking the tissue away. She manages a smile, at a memory. ‘My dad always speaks to me like that. Still takes my arm when we cross the road. What you got?’
    ‘Boy and a baby girl.’
    She looks him up and down. ‘Bet the lads won’t give her any trouble when she’s older, eh? You could snap them in two.’
    McAvoy smiles. ‘She’ll be able to look out for herself. That’s what you want for your kids, isn’t it? That they’re good people. Responsible. Able to take care of themselves.’
    Elaine nods and presses her lips together. ‘I think Mum did okay with us. Did her best, anyway. There’s me and my two brothers. Two grandkids now. Mine and Don’s. Don’s the middle kid, if you need to know that.’ She stops herself. ‘What is it you need to know? Really? I’m no good back at the house. Don’s wife’s such a bloody drama queen. If I go in there I’ll say something. Dad doesn’t needall that around him. He doesn’t know what to bloody do either, but once he’s stopped making everybody cups of tea this is going to kill him too. They were together thirty-three years, you know. Got married as soon as she found out she was pregnant with me. Dad could have done a runner, couldn’t he? But he didn’t. Married her in a flash. Last time they agreed on anything was when they both said “I do” but they loved each other.’
    Elaine falls silent. She doesn’t seem to know what to do with her hands so just holds them in her lap. McAvoy looks past her. The other parents in the park have drifted together and the pair of them are receiving repeated glances. McAvoy wonders if they already know what has happened to Philippa, or whether they think he is some hulking great brute of a boyfriend who has just made his girl cry.
    ‘Mum helped get the funding for this park,’ says Elaine, gesturing at the assemblage of brightly painted swings and slides. ‘Badgered the council until they couldn’t say no …’
    McAvoy looks around him. Wonders whether it is too soon to suggest they name it after the dead woman. He tries to find something to say but finds his gaze falling on Elaine’s son, sitting on a roundabout and hoping somebody will come and give him a push. His cousin seems to have wandered off. McAvoy stands up and walks over to the roundabout. He smiles at the toddler, and then gently gives it a push, walking around at the same speed in case the child topples over and falls. He feels a presence beside him and turns to see Elaine, smiling weakly.
    ‘What am I going to do without her? What will he?’
    McAvoy reaches down and picks up the boy. He tickles his tummy, then under his chin, and is rewarded with a delicious peal of laughter.
    Still holding the boy, he chooses his words carefully. ‘Elaine, the unit I work for deals with organised crime. There is some suggestion that your mother was a little outspoken about some of the more unsavoury elements in the neighbourhood.’
    Elaine’s expression doesn’t change. ‘Is that something to do with this?’
    ‘We don’t know.’
    She turns away and stares across the grass in the direction of her mother’s home.
    ‘I don’t live around here,’