even she knew about Rafe. Telling anyone might make whatever was between us more real.
“Oh, excellent. I know a wonderful fish market I can take you to.” We set up a time to meet, and I hung up, locking eyes with my roommate.
“I’m going to date this guy for real,” I told her.
“Have fun with that. Just remember the first time can be painful,” she warned. “Tell me before you do it and I’ll loan you some K-Y jelly.”
“ Merde , I didn’t say I was sleeping with him!” I exclaimed, blushing.
“That’s what serious dating means.” She frowned. “And you must be the last virgin at this college. No one would believe it if I told them.”
“That’s what Juliette is for,” I said. “So I can not be who I am.”
I worried that I was, indeed, the last American virgin. While my morals had been wavering and I was eager to find out about sex, I knew I wanted my first time to be not only mind-blowing but with someone I was truly in love with, which meant it might be awhile.
Henry, with his earnest gray eyes and tweed jacket, was the first Northeastern possibility I’d met. He was a grad student and surprised to find out I was a freshman. I could tell he liked me too much for me to play around with his emotions, so halfway through dinner I broke character and told him I was Ruby Michaels and I was from the Virgin Islands.
“I’m so glad you told me the truth—but can you keep talking to me with that little accent and say my name that way you do?” Henry asked with a smile, and he picked up my hand and kissed my fingers very gently.
I was thrilled to feel a tingle.
“ Mais oui , Henri,” I said, and he kissed my hand again. The tingle I felt was nothing like the lightning bolt Rafe had zapped me with, but to my oversexed body, a tingle was great.
I liked Henry a lot. He was working on conjoint PhDs in psychology and music, and we talked about matters of the mind, which was what I’d come to Boston for. We went to dinners at a fish house, where he bought me my first Maine lobster, a Greek restaurant where I learned about falafels, and an Indian restaurant where I learned to love naan and more. Finally, he took me to his off-campus apartment where he lived with other grad students, and after he played a song on guitar he’d written, we kissed.
His lips were sweet from an after-dinner mint, and soft on mine. They seemed to be initiating a conversation—do you like this? Or this?
I found I did, and let him know. Our tongues touched. The tingle was very pleasant.
That evening, after he dropped me off at my dorm, I still had a ton of homework, but I was floating on air because I was finally getting over Rafe.
Just in time for more letters from him to arrive.
Damn you, Ruby. I’m trying not to think impure thoughts about you, but it’s hard. You were so amazing that day we spent together. Sassy, smart, and you ran so hard you got my heart rate up in more than one way. I think over every moment of that day and wish I’d really savored it more. The way you looked when you stepped out from under those vines, like a wood nymph, that one strand of vine tangled in your hair, your cheeks red, those green eyes flashing.
And those breasts heaving, right there in front of me. God, woman. Because no matter that you’re only eighteen, you’re all woman. Those breasts, so perfect, so round and full, always made me think of what it would be like to bury my face in them, nuzzle them, suckle them, and as I did so, work you with my fingers until you were screaming your release.
Because I know that’s in you, my Ruby girl, a living flame.
I can’t believe I was noble and just let you go, didn’t take what I knew you were offering without knowing you were…but I also know that, woman though your body is, you’re still a girl and innocent of what you’re capable of.
I just hope I get to be the one to awaken that in you. Next summer I will be in California. Surely it wouldn’t be that hard for us to