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me…or telling me,” I said. “I mean, what happens now?”
    “What happens now is entirely up to you, baby girl,” Noah said. “We can forget all about this, or we can admit that we have feelings for each other and see where it goes. Who knows, in two weeks you might get sick of the toilet seat being up every time you come over and decide that our glorious cocks just aren’t worth it.”
    A laugh bubbled from my throat, and I was glad that Noah always seemed to know exactly what to say to defuse the tension. Had he not been a pastry chef, he would have made an excellent therapist.
    After the laughing slowed, I began to really think about what they were proposing.  
    “Wait, so, are you saying we should all date? I mean, do we all three go out, or two of us at a time? Oh my God, is this like that show where we have a schedule and charts of who can sleep with whom on which day? I can’t do that. I can’t be that person.”
    Before I’d even really allowed the possibility of what they were proposing to take hold, everything was muddled and sad again.
    “Damn, Jonny was right, you really do work yourself into a tizzy up in that pretty head of yours, don’t you? Remember what I said? What happens is up to you. In my experience, I think the best thing to do would be to keep things mostly with the three of us. I want you, you want me, we both want Jonathan. Seems like a functional triad to me.”
    Several minutes later, Noah had finished patiently explaining to me about the nearly infinite variations of what he called polyamorous relationships. My mind was completely blown.
    “You know people who live this way?” I asked.
    “Yeah,” he said, smiling. “I’m sure you do, too, you just don’t realize it.”
    “Have you two ever done this before?”
    The question escaped from my mouth before I could stop it. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to know the answer. What if they had, and I was just another one of their shared girls?
    “No,” Jonathan said. “Never. We’ve never both felt this way about someone, or found someone who fit so perfectly into our lives.”
    There was so much unspoken in his words. I was full of hope…but worried. Was I willing to risk my friendship with them for the possibility of something more?
    “I don’t know,” I almost whispered. “I need time to think.”
    “Understandable.” Noah reached for my hand again. “Want to stay for a movie?”
    He looked so happy, so relieved almost. Was it possible that he was glad I hadn’t flat out rejected them? Who in her right mind would? Why was I even taking so long to agree to a movie?
    “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” I smiled and took a deep breath. It felt like the first time I’d breathed in years, and my lungs burned with the effort. “Thank you,” I added. “For being so patient with me. And for wanting me. I’m…really…honored.”
    They both laughed and rolled their eyes as we stood and walked into the living room. It was hard to believe these two intelligent men found something in me worth wanting to explore. Aside from my fine ass, I mean.
    There was plenty of room on their couch, so I sat down in the middle while Noah put a movie on. I wanted to experience what being in the middle was like. When we were all settled, they both started touching me. The edges of our bodies touched, sure, but their hands were playing with mine or tracing invisible patterns on my legs. I’d never had so much attention focused my way, and although it made me a little nervous, it also excited me. When I pushed aside my worries, I could see so much potential with them.
    About halfway through the movie, I curled my feet under my body, leaning closer to Jay, but bringing Noah with me. My legs fell asleep after a bit, so I shifted my position again, this time more reclined and curled on Jay’s chest as Noah mimicked the movement. It was comfortable, the three of us lying there. I was safe and warm and wrapped in happiness.
    I must’ve