Something Fierce Read Online Free PDF

were a pretty safe bet, and coffee which she loved and claimed to be somewhat of a connoisseur. He decided to start there and went down the hall and up the stairs of Dr. Robert Jarrell’s four-bedroom house.
    In the kitchen, he moved aside his everyday coffee and broke the seal of an expensive, gourmet blend he thought she might enjoy. Spooning it into a filter, he had that same feeling he had awoken to. While yesterday and last night were incredible, the morning reminded him of all the things there were to be concerned about here: her age, the troubled past she’d confessed during last night’s conversations, the staggering speed with which things were moving, the irreversible fact that their last coupling had been without a condom.
    He walked into the adjoining living room in a kind of daze, his bare feet on the shiny hardwood floors, his hands shoved into the pockets of his old robe. He stood by the wall of windows. Last night’s snow had added another several inches to the four that had already been on the ground. The day was bright and clear and calm. The branches of the giant pine trees drooped under the weight of the new snow, the fire pit wasn’t visible at all and the chairs surrounding it appeared as miniature hills, sparkling and pristine in the morning sun.
    “Ecstasy,” he mumbled, recalling his one and only experience with hard drugs. It had been a couple of years ago with Megan, the great love of his life, in Los Angeles. Their four-year relationship was ending and it was killing them both. Not only had they been lovers and partners, they’d also been friends. Their experiment with the drug was a distraction during the inevitable split and one of the last adventures they had as a couple. He had never had any interest in drugs and was resistant to the idea at first, but his curiosity got the best of him and swallowing the pill had been the point of no return.
    The first part hadn’t been pleasant. He’d felt nauseous and clammy. Trying not to panic, he remembered mumbling a prayer for guidance which seemed to be answered as he passed through the bad feelings like a dark tunnel and found heaven on the other side. All of his senses had been turned up. It was as if all the boundaries and limits that he accepted in everyday life were gone. Anything was possible, nothing was taken for granted. He could feel every individual blade of grass under his feet in the backyard of the mansion they’d been house-sitting at the time. The trees surrounding the place, the flowerbeds, the pool, the sky, the stars were so overwhelmingly beautiful that he could hardly stand it; he and Megan had spent hours contemplating them. And of course, they had rediscovered each other’s bodies and made love again and again.
    That’s what yesterday and last night with Kerri were like, he thought, still gazing out the window at the unbroken snow. It was like taking Ecstasy. Even now, the morning after, he felt very much like he had then. He was grateful for the experience, but sort of out of it, drained, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. Like he had been some place amazing but a place that wasn’t quite real, a place he didn’t belong and that he would be wise to never return to.
    He sat down on the leather chair. The coffee maker grumbled and let out its final sigh. Seth looked toward the kitchen and remembered lying on the tile floor last night with Kerri on top of him, moving herself into position. He should have stopped, should have insisted on going downstairs for another condom. “I’m on the pill,” she’d said, her long hair falling into his face, her warm breath tickling his ear, “I’ve been on it for years.” Pregnancy isn’t the only issue , he meant to say, but for some reason, didn’t.
    They had the “so-who-else-are-you-sleeping-with?” talk, but it came after the kitchen floor. He didn’t have a current lover to confess and volunteered that he hadn’t slept with a woman since