Someone Else's Life Read Online Free PDF Page A

strangers: out clubbing, on holidays, in the park—Andy grinning and laughing with people I’ve never even met, having the time of his life. Having a life. Going traveling , I remember, my heart sinking.
    But not with me .
    My chest aches. Suddenly he feels a million miles away. I was wrong. Things have changed. We’ve changed. Everything changed that night. The last night I was here.
    But he kissed me last night , I remind myself desperately— that must mean something?
    My eyes dart frantically over the photos, desperate to find a picture of me, of us—a party, a date— something —some sign that he’s thought about me in all this time, that he’s missed me as much as I’ve missed him. Suddenly my heart stops, my eyes frozen on a picture of Andy, his arms wrapped tightly around a girl, grinning at the camera as she kisses him tenderly.
    A pretty blond girl.
    I pluck the photo from the wall, my fingers trembling as I stare at their interlocked fingers, their matching UEFA football shirts, the stadium behind them where the Euro championships were held two summers ago …
    Something hits me in the chest. Hard.
    Two summers ago . Just after we broke up. The summer we were going to go traveling .
    The summer he went without me …
    I can’t breathe. My chest tightens as all the pain of his leaving floods back—the burning insecurity that I wasn’t good enough, that I’d never been good enough, that he’d finally got tired of waiting for me to be ready—or worse, that now he’d seen me naked he didn’t want me after all.
    “You don’t want me.” My voice echoes suddenly in my ears, my cheeks blazing as I remember him pushing me away last night, my lips stinging with rejection. “You never did.”
    I run the tap, splashing the gushing water on my burning face, tears stinging my eyes as all my hopes of us getting back together dissolve to nothing.
    So that is what happened. That’s why he was so keen to stop when the phone rang that night, that’s why he went traveling without me. He’d gone off me. Gone off in search of someone new. And he found her …
    I wrench my eyes open, searching the photos for more pictures of her, of other girls, other girlfriends— How many have there been? I scour the snaps—parties, people, places—then, suddenly, a familiar face grins out, and instantly the rest of last night comes rushing painfully back. Kyle  … the party … kissing Andy … kissing Kyle … Kyle sneering … his mocking impression of Mum …
    A jolt like electricity hits me without warning.
    Mum .
    Sarah’s words scream back at me as the room begins to sway.
    Trudie was not your mother .
    I clutch the edge of the sink, my stomach lurching as the nightmare flashes back, starker, more painful, more terrifyingly real in the cold light of day.
    Trudie was not … she was never my mother …
    And she never told me. How …  how could she keep something like that a secret, after everything we’d been through with the disease?
    Especially when she found out about the disease …
    The room spins, and I plunge my face down, down into the icy water, trying to drown the questions, the pain, the images flooding my head …
    After Bex called that night, I took a taxi straight back to school—if Mum was angry about me staying at Andy’s, he’d be the last person she’d want to see—but by the time I got there she’d gone.
    Mum’d turned up at the prom looking for me, Bex said. Apparently she’d forgotten I’d told her I was staying at Bex’s, then, when I wasn’t at school, she’d gone mental. She’d stormed into the school hall, tottering around in her favorite heels and nightdress in front of everyone, searching for me, screaming at the top of her lungs. Bex tried to explain, tried calling me, but of course I hadn’t answered my mobile …
    Then Mum’d headed back to the car. The teachers tried to stop her, said she was in no state to drive, but Mum just shoved them out of the