So Much More (Made for Love #3) Read Online Free PDF Page A

tell her that. Claire and Jack have never been big on God, so it wasn't like there was anyone around this summer to drag me. Drag being the operative word. My actions this year haven't exactly made me an upright Christian. I won't lie and say my heart and I haven't felt too full of shame to enter into God's presence. How do I answer for what I've done—or what I was thinking about doing? I've been avoiding God; a ridiculous notion, I know, but I don't know how to ask forgiveness for who I’ve become. I don’t know that I want to, either. Furthermore, I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same Sarah ever again. What that means for my relationship with God, I haven’t figured out yet.
    “Hey, where'd you go?” she asks, nudging my knee with hers.
    “Sorry,” I murmur, shaking my head clear.
    “Is church a sore subject, too?” She lifts an eyebrow at me. “If I need to start making a list, I will.”
    “No,” I say with a breathy, half-hearted laugh. “I grew up in a Christian home. I’m totally comfortable talking about it—or not, if that's not your thing.”
    “I definitely believe there's someone up there.” She shrugs as she sips at her smoothie. “Anyway, what else should I know about you? What do you do for work?”
    “Oh. Well. That's something I need to figure out.”
    “What did you do in Westminster?”
    “I—I taught elementary school. Third grade,” I admit, my heartbeat growing angry as I think about the box of school stuff that sits in my new room. School stuff that I might not ever use again.
    “That's awesome! I bet the kids loved you. You've got that hot babysitter vibe going on. I’m sure the boys crushed on you like crazy while the little girls wanted to be you. Why don't you find a gig like that here?”
    My nose starts to tingle again. “I, uh, I'm taking the year off. Maybe more, I don't know.”
    For a moment, I'm in my parents’ living room—two days ago. The list of emotions I see in their facial expressions makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry.
    Surprise.
    Disappointment.
    Frustration.
    Confusion.
    Anger.
    Reproach.
    I know that I've let them down with this move. They paid for my education and they were so proud of the teacher I had become. Now…now I don't know what the future holds. Their shock left no room for empathy and we're definitely in a rough place right now.
    “O- Kay , I'll be adding career choices to the list of things to steer clear of.”
    A mix between a laugh and a groan spills from my mouth. “Shit. I’m sorry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind. I’m usually not this awkward.”
    “I believe you,” she says, nudging me with her knee once more. “Just remember you’ve got a couple friends next door, okay? Oh—give me your phone. I’ll give you our numbers.”
    We trade phones and add each other to our lists of contacts. She gives me Josh’s number, too. I have to admit, I sort of love it that she knows it by heart. Who knows phone numbers by heart these days?
    On our way back to the apartment, she promises she’ll keep her ears open for any job opportunities she hears about. I haven’t had a chance to exchange more than a sentence or two with my new roommate, but I know that I love my neighbors. I’m so grateful that I’ve got them. One of the hardest things about moving is making new friends and it took less than five minutes for me to make two.
    When we reach home, we go our separate ways, promising to meet up and hang out soon. I decide to spend the rest of the afternoon unpacking and getting settled. In a couple hours, I’m quite content with my progress. I manage to unpack all of my bathroom stuff. I’m happy to report that our bathroom is pretty huge. Not that I plan on spending very much time in there. I’m still not getting along with my reflection. She screams of my secrets and I’m not very fond of that. I already have my bitchy heart to contend with.
    I also manage to fit all of my clothes in the closet. I don't think