So Much It Hurts Read Online Free PDF

too?”
    â€œYup. And always a stick. You get more control with a stick. Which I happen to enjoy. A lot.”
    â€œYou don’t have to take me to the door,” I say when he’s turning the corner to our street. It’s not just that I don’t want him going out of his way. It’s also that I’m not sure how my mom would feel if she happened to be looking out the window and saw Mick and me together.
    Mick doesn’t ask me to explain. He pulls the Jeep over to the side of the road. When he puts his hand on mine, I swear I can feel his pulse in his fingers. It’s like I’m holding his heart. “I know this might sound crazy,” he says, “but I really want to get to know you better, Iris.”
    â€œIt doesn’t sound crazy,” I manage to say.
    â€œMaybe we could have dinner sometime?”
    â€œThat’d be—” Something catches in my throat. Me, having dinner with this totally cool, totally hot guy? “—awesome.”
    I notice more crinkly lines around Mick’s eyes when he smiles. They suit him.
    â€œThis Friday, then. Eight PM . I’ll meet you here,” he says, looking up at the house where he’s stopped. Mick’s not asking me; he’s telling me. I like the way he takes charge, the way he wants to look after me.
    â€œOkay.” I don’t want to move my hand away. Ever.
    That’s when I realize I want Mick to kiss me. Really kiss me. I wonder if he can tell that too. If he does, he doesn’t do anything about it.
    He’s the one to take his hand away first. “One more thing,” he calls out as I step out of the car. His voice has turned a little gruff, making it even sexier. “Let’s not tell anyone about this, Joey. Got that?” Again, it’s not a question.
    â€œGot it. And thanks so much for the dress. Really, Mick, you shouldn’t have.”
    What is it about Mick’s telling me—warning me, really—not to tell anyone about us that bothers me? It doesn’t make any sense. I’m the one who didn’t want him dropping me off in front of my house. Besides, who would I tell? Katie would never believe me.
    I don’t want to think about that. I want to think about how amazing Mick’s hand felt on mine. And I want to imagine what it would be like to kiss him. The thought is so delicious and distracting that for a second I lose my footing and nearly fall off the sidewalk.

CHAPTER 6
    â€œ Seek for thy noble father in the dust. ”
—HAMLET , ACT 1, SCENE 2
    I t’s a go-go-go kind of day. We have two quizzes—one in Cal, one in World History. I spend recess sitting cross-legged in front of my locker, reviewing my notes on World War I. “You’ve got to be kidding,” Katie says when she sees me.
    The extra studying pays off. I can answer every question on the history quiz. “I guessed half of them,” Katie tells me when we leave the exam room.
    After classes are over, we go straight to rehearsal. Mick is there, scribbling notes. He looks up when I come into the room, and when our eyes meet, he smiles, but so quickly I’m not really sure it happened.
    After that, I make a point of not looking at him. It’s hard to do. It’s even harder to believe that in forty-eight hours we’ll be having dinner together. Me, Iris Wagner, with Mick Horton! I’ve already planned my outfit: the dress he bought me, black opaque tights, and my clunky black boots with the wedge heels. I’ll wear my hair away from my face. I’ve been wearing it that way ever since Mick said I should. Mick has a great eye for detail. Theater directors have to notice everything.
    I get home that afternoon before Mom. She phones from the car to say she went for coffee with a friend but that she’s bringing home pizza from the Italian bakery and could I set the table.
    The pizza is half pepperoni (for Mom), half tomato-and-mushroom (for