Snow & Ash: Endless Winter Read Online Free PDF Page A

ruining my life and I hated her for it. The only thing I could do to punish her was ignore her. It was the worst day of my life - then it really got bad.
    I squawk in outrage when my game player goes black and with the silence of the game comes the silence of the van. Something’s wrong. We were still moving but it feels like the van has turned off. I lean forward in my seat and see Mom fighting with the steering wheel and jamming her foot against the brake pedal but we’re still flying down the road. My eyes grow huge as I see the cars ahead of us crash together and I know we’re going to hit them.
    “Mom, Mom, Mom STOP!!!” Screaming was the last thing I remember before the impact and with the pain came blackness.
    Silence, absolute silence. White flashes across my vision and something’s burning in my eyes as I try to open them. I struggle to lift my arm up to rub at my eyes but it feels so heavy. Finally, I get it up and rub at what I think is water blurring my vision until I can open them. Blood, not water, blood on my hand and in my eyes. Then the pain…ahhhh…it hurts so much! Blood, pain and silence, oh my God why can’t I hear anything. Look, look around, find Mom, find Matty. Oh man, are we sideways? Everything is tilted. Can’t see Mom. Matty, Matty is there! He’s almost under me but still in his seat and his mouth is open and I know he’s screaming cuz his eyes are pinched shut and his face is red with tears and…SOUND!
    So much noise, too much for my aching head! Matty is screaming and metal is creaking and people somewhere outside of the car are yelling and moaning and crying but where? Where is the most important noise? Where is Mom’s voice? Where is the most important voice in my whole world asking if I’m ok or telling me I will be? WHERE IS MOM???”
    I pat at the seat belt and look down around me and see that I will fall right on top of the baby if I unbuckle so I brace my feet against the seat in front of me and hold on to the armrest on the door before hitting the release button. Ahhhh, that hurts, everything hurts! But I hold on and pull myself up to the front seat and slide through them so I’m anchored. My breath whooshes out in relief, there she is. She’s against the door and her long brown hair is covering her face but it looks like she might have been knocked out like I was. I’m calling for her to wake up and pulling at the one arm I can reach but she’s not waking up so I slide further into the front of the van until I can just reach her hair with my fingertips and I pull it away from her face.
    Finally, she’s awake! She’s staring at the dash in front of her even though I keep calling her name and I think for a second it’s payback for me ignoring her but I know it’s not. I know what it is but I can’t, so I push it away and I beg because I need her to look at me. I need her to hear me when I say I’m sorry and I need her to say it will be ok but I know that will never happen now so I let it all go away again.
    Whimpering, someone is whimpering and it’s so sad, then a hiccup that turns into a cry and then Matty is wailing full force again. My eyes clear and I take one more look at her beautiful face before brushing her hair back over it. I pull myself back into the back seat and ignore the pain and ache in my chest to get to my baby brother. He has no idea what has happened and I have to help him. I’m all he has left now.
    I anchor myself against the seats and lean over his car seat. Matty’s face is tomato red and wet with tears and snot but he doesn’t seem injured on the surface. I rub his head and pat his leg until he opens his eyes and focuses on me. He whimper’s my name but in baby speak it comes out “X”, poor kid hasn’t even learned to say his r’s yet. I speak rambling reassurances to him until his tears become stuttering hiccups. I have to get him out of the van but the way it’s tilted will make it a huge challenge.
    I look past him and see