Snakes' Elbows Read Online Free PDF

Wilf brought the trolley in the morning with Barney’s breakfast, he broughtDandelion’s too, on the lower shelf. After about a week, Wilf came in one morning looking grim. ‘It’s your turn this time, Pussens,’ and he nodded at the newspaper as he held it out to Barney.
    â€˜Oh dear,’ said Barney. ‘I suppose we’d better get it over with and see what they’re saying this time.’ On the front of the paper in large print it said:
    â€˜MAD MILLIONAIRE IN STRAY CAT SHOCK! Full story and SENSATIONAL picture on page 7!’
    â€˜I’ll read it aloud,’ Barney said. He knew the cat couldn’t read but he was too polite to say so.
    â€˜Mad Millionaire Barney Barrington has done it AGAIN! The Woodford Trumpet can reveal today that he is now sharing his HOME with a black and white ALLEY CAT called Dandelion. Too MEAN to buy himself a BEAUTIFUL EXPENSIVE cat with LONG soft fur and BIG blue eyes, Barmy Barney haschosen instead a MISERABLE little stray with SHORT fur and THIN whiskers. Dandelion is seen above in our exclusive shock photo LICKING HER OWN BUM!’
    And sure enough, there at the top of the page was a big picture of Dandelion sitting in the garden, with her back leg in the air and her head down, having a jolly good lick. She went pink under her fur when she saw it. She hadn’t thought that anyone was watching her and she certainly hadn’t thought that anyone was taking photographs. Barney had never seen a cat blush before but he pretended not to notice.
    â€˜Poor little Dandelion,’ he murmured, tickling her behind the ear. ‘Pay no heed. Everybody’ll have forgotten about it by tomorrow. Put it out of your mind.’
    â€˜Yes, Barney’s right,’ Wilf said, and then he added, ‘All it means is that you’re one of us now.’
    Sitting on Barney’s plate was his morning post. There was only one letter today and heopened it as Wilf poured the coffee. It was from the bank.
    Dear Mr Barrington,
    Please find enclosed your annual bank statement. I am sure you will be delighted to see how much your money has grown during the past year. As I was sending it I wanted to put in a note to say how very happy, in fact how completely thrilled we are to deal with someone who has such a lot of money is such a nice person.
    Yours oh so very sincerely, dear Mr Barrington,
    Sylvester Simkins
    Bank Manager
    â€˜What a creep!’ Wilf said.
    Barney took the bank statement out of the envelope and unfolded it. And unfolded it and unfolded it and unfolded it. It was a huge sheet of paper: it had to be so that there would be room for all the noughts. ‘Goodness me, as much as that!’ Barney said, looking at the figure at the bottom of the page.
    â€˜I would start to spend some of that if I wasyou,’ Wilf said. ‘I know what! Why don’t you buy yourself a BEAUTIFUL EXPENSIVE cat with LONG soft fur and BIG blue eyes. Only joking, Pussens,’ he added as Dandelion looked up, worried. ‘Anyway, I’m off. Enjoy your breakfast. You’re getting an omelette for your lunch today and the cat’s getting a kipper. I’ll bring it up at one o’clock. If you need anything else before then, give me a shout.’
    It was lovely living with Wilf, Barney thought after he’d gone. He was so direct, you always knew exactly where you stood.

7 Jasper’s Job
    There was nothing Jasper liked more than money. He thought about it all the time and no matter how much of it he had, still he wanted more. If you had crept into his bedroom in the middle of the night when he was fast asleep and lifted up his eyelid, you would have seen a little pound sign there, as Jasper dreamt about coins and banknotes and gold.
    Nobody knew how he made his money. When people asked him what he did he would look them in the eye and say, ‘Actually, I’m a specialist in the area of material supplies concerning international