Slipping Into Darkness Read Online Free PDF Page A

my alcoholism, I saw my life in two acts. My life as an alcoholic was Act One and it was behind me. That was then. Act Two was now. I was sober now, one day at a time. I refused to let my past define me. Would I have done anything different if I could? I didn’t know. My sponsor, Joyce, said our alcoholism can be a blessing if we turn our lives around and use it to help others. I didn’t know about all that.
    Now, fortunately, I was clean again, making a living. Wasn’t I a free agent? The LAPD didn’t sign my paycheck anymore. Internal Affairs didn’t own me. A quiet voice spoke to me. You are your own woman. You’re self-employed. You can help your brother.
    Suddenly I recognized an emotion I was feeling. I was POed: pissed off. Red-hot rage pissed. I was furious that I couldn’t go to the police for help. I was furious that these two jackasses didn’t care what happened to my brother. I was furious that my brother was only considered a convict and not a human being. Maybe he didn’t mean anything to them–to the world he was just another black man, dispensable. But, to me, he was my brother. They broke the mold when they made Mayhem.
    He was the first male I’d followed around when I learned to walk. He was the one who taught me how to shoot a gun, and how to be as tough as a man. I remembered when we were kids, he’d said, “I’m going to teach you to shoot so you can take care of yourself so that no man can fuck over you like they do Mama.” The truth of the matter was that there was only one man, Strange, our younger two siblings’ father, who ever walked over my mother without her going to royal battle with him.
    A couple of years ago, Venita had been released from prison after serving a twenty-year bid, so we were definitely not the Huxtables from The Cosby Show. My three siblings and I were raised in four different foster homes, except for Mayhem, who ran away and was on his own from the age of ten. I guessed that’s why he was in the trouble he was in today.
    I thought about my mother and how upset she was over the possible pending murder of her oldest son, her first born. She’d already lost her youngest two children. Up until this day, we didn’t even know where my younger brother, Diggity, and my baby sister, Righteousness, were living, or if they were alive at all. We’d all spread to the four winds, it seemed. The younger two sibs seemed to have vanished into thin air. I was just trying to get my life together, and had two years of sobriety under my belt. I’d just started a search for my younger two sibs on the national registry, but no luck so far.
    Something hit me. I realized I was alone in this world. Mayhem was all I had of my siblings and I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t have to answer to a job, so I was free. I decided then and there I would return the money on the missing starlet to the family and handle my own family’s business. But how?

Chapter Four
    I didn’t breathe easily until the two alleged federal officers dropped me back in front of the Kodak Theater near Hollywood Boulevard, hours later. I could see the crowds had cleared. Only a few stragglers remained in the area. The after parties were probably already in full swing. For some reason, it didn’t bother me though. My mood was ruined after this night I’d had. Anyhow, I didn’t feel like being around all the beautiful people right now. I didn’t feel like watching Haviland act like a flibbertigibbet the way she did whenever she was in her element surrounded by other actors.
    No, I just wanted to be alone. I had to process what had just happened. Who were these men? What did they want with my brother? What was this dad-blain money they were talking about? Was that the motive for kidnapping Mayhem?
    A light mist began to fall softly, although it wasn’t exactly raining. L.A. was funny like that. My old bullet hole,