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seek some sort of professional help.
    Douglas
Peterson is a highly recommended councillor who is based at the city clinic and
specialises in issues linked to bereavement. He is a genuine, kind-hearted man
and superb at his job. I did feel better, meeting with him in his office on a
weekly basis, reminiscing over the old times I had with Jess. He was easy to
talk to. I felt as though I could tell him anything at all and he would listen,
without question or judgement.
    As
the sessions concluded, it was his opinion that the dreams were linked to the
loss of my sister and the guilt that I felt for her dying. Chances were high
that until I came to terms with the fact there was nothing I could have done to
prevent her death, the dreams would continue. Although their frequency had
reduced somewhat, he was correct in the diagnosis.
     
    “There
was nothing you could have done,” Dan says, squeezing my hands, which are still
clasped firmly around my mug. I look down and notice my knuckles are starting
to turn white, I’m gripping it so hard.
    “You
were an incredible sister, Nat. She knew you were always there whenever she
needed you. It was an accident and nothing that you could have done would have
changed what happened.”
    I
nod again. He must get fed up repeating the same words to me all of the time.
My mind knows they are right, but I still don’t fully believe them in my heart.
    I
am suddenly exhausted again. I lay my head back on the cushion behind my head
and place my still full mug of cold chocolate on the silver coffee table in
front of me. I lift my feet onto the sofa and Dan squeezes in behind me, lying
down parallel with my body and pulling me close. I turn my head, laying it
against his bare chest and pull the blanket over us both, hearing his heart
beat slowly and the warmth of his skin against mine. I feel instantly better.
For the second time that night I close my eyes and quickly drift off to sleep.
This time, thankfully, the dream does not return.

Chapter
5
     

 
    It’s
Saturday morning and I am in high spirits as I strap Josh into the back seat of
the car and head toward my mum’s house. It’s yet another glorious day, and
although fresh and crisp, the sun shines brightly and puts me in a good mood. I
haven’t had the dream since Monday night. I’m hoping that this is the last I
will see of it.
    Dan
has a rare full day off work and there is football on the TV all afternoon.
I’ve left him at home, where he is quite happy to be left chilling in front of
the box, no doubt stuffing his face with junk food. He has been working hard
lately and deserves the chance to relax and have some time alone at home for
once. I decide to use the spare time to pop out and visit Mum. It’s been a few
weeks and I know she gets lonely without Dad, even though she doesn’t admit to
it.
    As
we set off, Josh talks to himself, playing happily in the back of the car. Once
again the huge stuffed blue dinosaur is in tow—I struggle to separate the two
of them lately. I call my mum on the hands-free as soon as we set off to tell
her I’m on my way. She sounds pleased and instantly tells me that she has
prepared a tasty lunch for when we arrive. I’m sure that woman’s prime task in
life is to feed me up until I burst. She always makes such a fuss when we visit
and wouldn’t have it any other way.
    As
I finish my phone call to Mum and hang up, the phone rings again. I press the
button on the steering wheel to answer it, grinning as I see the caller display
and know what is coming.
    “Hi
trouble,” I say, as I turn off the busy dual carriageway that I’m on and follow
a much quieter road, heading north towards the lake.
    “Hi
Nat,” my brother replies in a very cheery and excited tone of voice. I laugh at
him, knowing full well what he is calling me for, but wanting to hear the news
from him first.
    “I’m
taking it the answer was yes, then?” I ask, unable to stand the anticipation.
    The
line is still quiet a few