Sidelined Read Online Free PDF Page B

listening to me,” I told him, standing up. “I said I want to learn a new skill, not fly to the moon. You're making a make-up qualification sound like the worst thing ever.”
    “No.” Jude stood up too, reaching for my hand. “I'm sorry. This has come out of nowhere so I'm just asking you if you've really thought about it. I know how you get when you have a new idea in your head.”
    I snatched my hand away. “Forget it. I'll carry on being your little housewife and making sure your dinner's on the table when you come home.”
    Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I walked out of the room and up to our bedroom, torn between thinking my feelings were perfectly fair, and thinking I'd acted like a spoilt brat. Had I gotten so used to getting what I wanted that when Jude said no I had a tantrum like a toddler?
    I threw myself onto my bed, hating that I couldn't figure out where this weirdness came from. This wasn't really about a make-up course. It was about me. I’d lost myself somewhere over the last few years. I needed to find a way back.
    Did wanting something of my own make me a bad person? I wiped at my eyes, frustrated and hurt because Jude didn't understand.
    “Bree.”
    I remained still until his weight pressed into the bed and his hand rested on my waist. My back faced him, but I placed my hand over his to prove I wasn't a total bitch.
    “Talk to me.”
    “I hate when you think I can't make decisions on my own. I'm not an idiot.”
    “I know you're not an idiot. But you get carried away sometimes. I don't want you taking on something you thought of on a whim.”
    “So what if it is a whim? Some of the best ideas I've had happened that way.”
    Including letting you into my life when everything in me screamed to run away because I didn't think I deserved you.
    “Some of your ideas haven't been so great.” He gave a small chuckle. “Like those God awful shoes you thought were cute until you got them home. Those ones with cartoon dogs all over them?”
    A giggle escaped me. What can I say? They looked real cute in the store window. When I got them home I realised how truly gross they were. They had actual fluff on them. Obviously not real dog fur, but fluff which made them three dimensional. Man, they were a waste of money. Nobody even wanted them when I offered them for free.
    Jude slipped his arm underneath me and lifted me up towards him. “I'm sorry. If you want to talk about the make-up thing, we can.”
    His eyes were full of apology. How could I stay mad at him? But he’d already knocked the shine off the idea, albeit unknowingly. I knew him better than that. He'd have done anything for me. For once I needed him to do it without questioning me.
     
    The next day, we all trekked back to Freya’s place to help with the unpacking. Jesse even came over, even though he couldn’t help much. He was tasked with entertaining anyone who stopped to grab a drink, and breaking up the boxes we’d emptied. We separated into different rooms to pile boxes in the right places, and Will was cool with us getting some of his stuff out and asking for directions about where to put it.
    “Can you believe this is happening?” Will asked, wrapping his arms around Freya. I peered around the box I’d just unpacked to watch them.
    “No,” Freya answered, grinning. “It’s been a long time coming!”
    “Well there’ll be no more waiting now.” Will paused to kiss her. “From now on I’ll be here all the time. You’re stuck with me.”
    Freya made a face, supposedly of mock horror; she was way too happy to pull it off.
    Another ripple of envy rushed over me. I didn’t usually do envy. Not ever, yet recently it had happened twice. I hated the anger jealousy created inside me.
    “What shall we do later when everyone’s gone?” Will asked, pressing his forehead against Freya’s. “You wanna go out for dinner? Someplace romantic?”
    Freya shook her head, somehow managing to not break contact. “Takeout, wine