Shrinking Violet Read Online Free PDF Page A

word, a word that does not fall easily off your tongue. I cover the first three letters with my thumb, dis, and instantly it becomes a neutral word. The word appointed carries no feelings. That means dis is the culprit.
    "What stands out to you in this quote, Tere?" It's not until she says my name that I realize Ms. Peters is standing right in front of me. Her stubby hand rests on the corner of my desk and the tips of her maroon loafers are nestled underneath.
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    Why is she calling on me now? She knows I never have anything to say. What did I do?
    She's left me alone for over a month. I glance up at her bright red lips. She cracks a smile and moves her hand to my shoulder.
    The whole class is silent. They're waiting for the death of me. I know I shouldn't be so dramatic, but whenever I'm forced to speak aloud, I like to at least have a little notice so I can mentally prepare.
    Time seems to have stopped as Ms. Peters waits for my answer. The rest of the class waits, too. I look down at my paper, lick my dry lips and close my eyes. If I don't see all those eyes staring at me, then it's like I'm alone. Finally, I open my mouth,
    "Disappointed."
    Ms. Peters waits for me to say more, but there is no more. She gets the hint and walks to the center of the room.
    "Disappointed. When is love a disappointment?" she cheerfully asks the class.
    Stacy's hand goes up. "When Frank dumps you."
    Everyone laughs. Frank turns red because he dumped Stacy's best friend and volleyball captain, Laurie, last week.
    I should raise my hand and say, I have no idea what they're talking about. That I've never had the chance to be the dumper or the dumpee. That it's nothing to laugh about or take for granted because not everyone gets a chance to experience love. But saying all that would definitely constitute public suicide.
    Pretty soon people's hands shoot up, and they mention first 42
    loves, broken marriages, Jerry Springer guests that cheat on their lovers--but no one says anything about actually being a disappointment.
    Gavin Tam, the tall, slim guy on my right, with straight black hair and dark brown eyes, taps me on the shoulder. "I know what you mean. Love is a lie."
    He does? I instinctively flip my notebook over to a fresh page. I force a smile from my lips. Maybe he really does.
    He smiles, then goes back to giving himself a tattoo of weird squiggly lines on his arm.
    Besides me, he's probably the next quietest person in the class. But I don't think he has trouble speaking, he just chooses not to. Ms. Peters moved him next to me a month ago when she rearranged the seats. He's cute, but I've never had the nerve to ask him for more than a sheet of paper.
    Ms. Peters tells us to use our free-writes and expand our thoughts into a two-page essay about an incident where a good friend really came through for us. She uses an example from her own childhood when a buddy looked out for her. Her ballet teacher said if she forgot her tights again for rehearsal, she wouldn't be in the show. Well, she forgot them. But her best friend Kate thought she might, so she spent her own allowance on a second pair of tights and kept them in her ballet bag as a spare for Ms.
    Peters.
    I really can't think of anything like that. I stare at my blank page. Audrey is a good friend--don't get me wrong--but we're in the same boat. Neither of us asks for much and we try to stay
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    out of the spotlight. I write her name up top of the page, hoping that will spark something. I look over at Gavin's paper to see if he's started the assignment. Man, does he have a lot to say. He's abandoned his tattoo art and is scrawling away in his notebook. I can't read a word of it, though, because his writing is small and slanty.
    I check to the other side of me and see that Amy is busy writing, too. She has built a wall with her arm and has her nose to the paper, like someone might steal her response. I'm sorry, Audrey. You really are a good friend. I need to think harder, but I got