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his wife had even come to dinner sometime. I could blackmail both of them. I'd be the richest kid in the school. I could have any-thing I liked. It would be great.
    Mum and Dad started bickering. Dad wanted Mum to go part-time, like him. He was saying it was too much stress working full-time at a school these days. He was saying how bad-tempered and distant she was. He was always going on about all these other teachers who were having nervous breakdowns and falling to bits, and that she should get out and go part-time before it happened to her and he was left having to pay all the bills on half a wage and run the house all on his own.
    “We could have days out. We could walk or visit places. Look … I can do anything I want on Mondays, Tuesdays and Friday afternoons. You could do it with me,” he said.
    “But I
like
working full-time,” she said.
    “Well, I think it's selfish of you,” said my dad. “Life's to enjoy, not to work yourself into the ground.”
    “I'm not working myself into the ground.”
    “Then why are you so distant? If you're married with afamily, you ought to be prepared to spend a bit of time with them.”
    Gill said he only went on like that because he couldn't bear Mum being better at work than he was. She said, “He can't take it. Men are weaker than women, really.” Well, I dunno. Dad used to be good at everything. He never had to work hard, it always came out right for him.
    The other really great thing about Mum having an affair was that I had it in my hands like a time bomb or a grenade or something. I could pull the pin and let it go. I could blow up the family! Or I could quietly sit on it, show it to my mum … and make my fortune. It was like a weapon. I'd never really thought before about knowledge as being dangerous like that. When you know certain kinds of things, it's like power. It lets you do things you could never have done before. I started thinking about how to ask Mum to put my pocket money up. It would be a start.
    “What's wrong with you?” yelled my dad. I think I heard him, but I assumed he was talking to my mum. There was a pause. He got really cross and he bawled, “I said, what's the matter with you, Laurence?” When he said my name I almost jumped out of my chair.
    “What?”
    “What? Is that the only word you know? Get a grip, will you? What's the matter?”
    I looked at my mum. She blushed. She blushed! It was suddenly like it was all out in the open.
I
blushed. My dadwas staring at me, scowling away. Then he noticed my mum as red as a tomato and all his anger went and he looked shocked.
    Then I started acting stupid. I don't know what was going through my head. I was fed up with keeping it a secret, I wanted to tell someone and it suddenly occurred to me that it didn't matter if I did. I mean, so what? People have affairs all the time. It was a joke!
    I leaned across to my mum and I said, “Give us a kiss, Sandra.” And I blew her a kiss and winked. It was the wink that did it. It was a long, slow lecherous wink and it served her right.
    I didn't mean to. Maybe I was getting messed up with the game and real life, because although I liked thinking about making all that money, it was like the other ways I've had of getting rich—they never work in the end. Listen, she should have had one of her little talks with me. She should have said something. She just left it up to me, and I'm a child still, right? And … she shouldn't have hit me.
    Suddenly my mum swung forward and slapped me round my face as hard as she could. It went … crack! It really hurt. I put my hand to my cheek and it felt red-hot and smooth.
    I didn't actually tell, even then. I just said, “You shouldn't have done that,” like it was a threat.
    Dad jumped up. He was really angry. “Or what?” he yelled. “Or what?”
    I ignored him and I said to my mum, “I didn't tell. Sowhat did you hit me for?” and I nodded at Dad, just so it was clear who I hadn't told.
    Everything was very