Shining On Read Online Free PDF

to her, “What do you know about girls?”
    And she said, “I
am
a girl.”
    “Not a proper one,” I said.
    She got up in a huff. “Can't you take anything seriously?” she snapped.
    “Only if it's worth it,” I said, and she rolled her eyes and stamped out. But I was being serious, she
doesn't
know any-thing about girls, not the kind of girls I want to go out with. The kind of girls I want to go out with would
like
me talking like that.
    I once caught my mum and dad having sex, you know. I went into the room without knocking and she was sitting on top of him. I hadn't thought at the time, but looking back I could hear her making pleased-sounding noises be-fore I went in. I didn't really know what it was at the time, but Gill told me. She said it must have been. It didn't look anything like what Mum was doing with this other bloke, though.
    The day after I saw her and Nigel Turner, I remember standing by my bedroom window, which is above thekitchen, looking down into the garden where they'd been and saying to myself, “She has a lover,” but I still couldn't make it as though it had really happened. I said, “Sandra,” to myself. We always called her Mum. Even though that woman down there with her blouse open had been my mum, it wasn't the same person who cooked and worked and shopped and woke up every morning smelling of Dad.
    When I was younger, a few years ago, I used to try to see my mum with nothing on. I used to peep through the key-hole of the bedroom…. Well, I'd never seen a real woman in the nude. I hadn't done it for years, but now I wanted to see her like that again. I was handing the dishes to her after dinner a few days later. I was fed up thinking about it when-ever I saw her. She still hadn't said anything to me. She was bending over, putting the plates in the dishwasher, and I was looking at her back. I was wondering what was it that made Nigel Turner so turned on. She had on this slightly transparent blouse—you could see her bra strap under it, and where the flesh squeezed out on either side. I reached down, I took the strap in my fingers and I snapped it.
    She looked up at me as if I'd hit her. “What did you do that for, Laurence?” she exclaimed.
    I shrugged. “I dunno.” Well, I didn't know … I just did it.
    She scowled; she was really furious. She stood up and yelled in my face, “You're not to do that to me again. Do you understand?”
    “Yeah, sure, so what?”
    Then she stamped off out of the room. I was really angry. It was just a joke. It didn't mean anything, it was a joke. Maybe I did it harder than I'd meant to. I thought she should be grateful to me, really. I could have said something if I'd wanted. I thought, what would happen if I told my dad?
    It was at dinner. Dad always says, “The family that eats together stays together.” He's done nearly all the cooking ever since he went part-time at the school where he teaches. He used to be Head of English, but it was too much work for him. Now he thinks how lucky we all are because we can have home-cooked food three or four times during the week and not just at weekends. Sometimes he even bakes bread. The bread's nice, and sometimes he does nice meals, but I prefer meals out of a packet.
    Someone said my name.
    “What?”
    “Pass the sauce, deafo,” said Gill.
    “Sorry.”
    I had this plan about making loads of money by blackmailing my mum. I could threaten to tell my dad unless she gave me loads of money. I could make her write her will out in my favor. I could make her give me tenners whenever I wanted. Then Gill would always be saying, “Where did you get all that?” and I'd just go, “Ah ha! Nothing for noses,” like she does to me whenever I ask her anything.
    “Laurence!”
    “What?”
    “Not what—pardon.”
    “What?”
    “Christ. Do you want more fish pie?”
    “No, thanks.”
    “You're in a dream.”
    I
was
in a dream. I could make a fortune. Out of Nigel Turner, too. He was married. I think he and