Shelter Me (Sawtooth Shifters, #6) Read Online Free PDF Page A

opposite of all those rock stars that died at twenty-seven; I had yet to live. I had a perfectly good excuse for it that I’d rather take to my grave than say out loud, but that was no longer an option. I had to rip everything open and let it all hang out.
    Kiera sat beside me on the couch, bumping my leg. “That’s the first thing. You’ve got to get comfortable talking about this stuff, because you have to be able to tell Dallas what you want. And ask him what he needs. Which leads me back to my point. It doesn’t have anything to do with your bodies—sex is a mind game. Let him think he’s in control, that he’s claiming you. In reality, you’ll be in the driver’s seat the whole time. The only way you’ll lose him is if you fuck this up. I know that’s harsh, but it’s true. I can’t sugar coat things.”
    “I know. That’s why I asked you.” I sighed. No better time to talk about all the things that scared me than now. “I’ve been having trouble lately. I’ve been...feeling like I did when I first got to CAST. I didn’t want to say anything, because everyone else around me is so happy, and there’s a little voice in my head that laughs at me, telling me I don’t deserve that. Now that just turned into a big voice, with bright red hair and a giant rack. And honestly, I don’t know if I can beat her.”
    Kiera hugged me. At first it was weird because we were both card-carrying members of the No Hugging Club, but it was exactly what I needed. “Don’t give her a chance,” she said against my cheek, then pulled away. “I know this violates the cardinal rule of Forever Home, but what the hell happened to you? If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”
    She chewed on her lip, just as nervous as I was. We made a pact when we came to Granger Falls, all of us strangers, connected by our grief and the hope that a bunch of unwanted animals could help put us back together again. We never talked about what got us there. No looking back. We couldn’t change the past. The present was what we had control over.
    Trying to form the words, I was brought back to that day. Pain balled in my chest like a giant fist around my heart, squeezing it. In my mind’s eye, I watched the car pull away, always as vivid as the first time it happened. “My mother left me in a Walmart parking lot. She’d just got her check. I only remember it because we ran out of everything at the end of the month, and I’d be so hungry before we did our big shopping. She let me pick out one thing I really wanted, and I chose those sugar cookies with the frosting on top. I gag just thinking of them now. She loaded up the car, buckled my little brother in, and said she didn’t have any room for me. They actually waved at me as they drove away, and me, being the naïve little ten-year-old that I was, waved back. I didn’t get what was happening.”
    “I don’t get it now.” Kiera’s eyes glassed over. “How the fuck could someone do that to their kid? I’m so sorry.”
    “I waited for them to come back all night. One of the employees that rounded up the carts noticed I’d been out there for hours. Once the cops came, and the social workers, they brought me to live with my grandmother. I didn’t really know her before that, because she didn’t get along with my mom, and she saw me as her second chance. I thought it was my fault, that I’d been left there. My brother was with us too, but he considered me the reason we didn’t live with Mom anymore, and he made my life miserable. He left when he was sixteen, and I haven’t seen him since. Gram and I clung to each other. She didn’t like to leave the house, and that was fine with me. I didn’t like going anywhere, because I’d freak out if my Gram was out of my sight. When she died...I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t call anyone, because I thought I’d be in trouble. I knew they’d take me away. Or I’d be left behind with nothing again, because I was twenty-two and