Shelter Me: A Shelter Novel Read Online Free PDF Page A

roamed my body in my dreams last night. This was so much better than I'd imagined.
    Not having a memory gave me excuses to be a bit of a wild thing. To indulge in all my impulses. To go out and sleep around (when my art let me out of its vise-like grip). I don't know who I am…I'm allowed to lose control…they're lucky I'm as normal as I am.
    Of course, I'm not sure who the ever-present 'they' was. Society? Susan? Whoever threw me away?
    Brayden understood my impulsiveness. His matched mine in its ferocity, but he didn't have a vicious master to rein him in. He had to do it all by himself and I was in awe of his self-control. I seemed to lack any, and conversely, I didn't want any.
    All of that lack of control flooded me now. I wanted to go back to my days of no responsibility, and so I did. But that couldn't compete with my raging hormones, the wet between my legs, the anger at Ann Maslow and the whole roomful of fucking critics who were trying to fuck with the thing that gave me the most pleasure in life. I was, in that moment, a petulant child, rebellious teen, presumptuous ego-laden artist, and first and foremost a woman who wanted a man.
    Nothing in life was simpler than that. Maybe that's why it always felt so right…at least until things went so very wrong.
    "Christ, turn your brain off," he muttered roughly.
    "Distract me."
    He cursed, then ran his thumbs over my nipples before rolling them between his fingers. I arched into his touch, wanting more immediately.
    He gave it. He kissed me. Really kissed me. I exhaled a soft moan in his mouth and grabbed for his shoulders. He was so big and broad, his body hot, pressing mine. His mouth took mine hungrily. I made no move to stop him. I let myself feel helpless, pinned, out of control, because if this was going to be my own experience with Lucas, I was going to make sure I enjoyed every second of it.
    Forget zero to sixty—this was over a hundred MPH downhill, an out of control roller coaster I didn't want to stop.
    His palm slid up my dress, cupped my sex around my underwear. I swallowed hard as his fingers brushed the thin slip of fabric covering my wet sex…and then I whimpered.
    "Christ, I want to take you out of here and get you into a bed. I want to take my time. But you can't leave and I can't wait. And I can always wait." He was definitely frustrated by that. A man like him, so used to control and I was making him lose it. "You're so goddamned bad for me."
    "My first show ever and I'm in the back room with your hand up my dress, so ditto."
    He kissed me again, the heel of his palm pressing me. I ground against it in the tight space, against the walls between what might one day be priceless paintings. I heard the sounds of the party beyond the door, which meant they could hear us.
    Thankfully, my groans were muffled in his mouth, swallowed by him as he encouraged more. Like he couldn't get enough.
    When his fingers slid inside to stroke my bare sex, I lost it. One touch of my clit and I shattered against him.
    When I blinked and surfaced, he was still touching me. And I was greedy. I wanted more.
    I heard the door open and I froze. Lucas remained relaxed. His body totally covered mine, but what was happening was unmistakable.
    We were quiet and I don't think whoever it was saw us at first. The bathroom door closed and Lucas shook his head. If we moved now, it would definitely be obvious. And then she walked out. Stopped. Turned and stared. And then she laughed, an I can't believe this shit kind of laugh. And then she left.
    "I have to get back out there."
    He stroked my cheek. "Fine. But this? This isn't over."
    My cheeks burned. I locked myself in the bathroom in a futile attempt to make it look like I hadn't just had an orgasm.
    Even if I didn't look it, I didn't doubt that the woman who saw us told as many people as she could. She'd definitely told Bray, because he took me by the shoulder, handed me a glass of champagne and said, "Worst possible choice of man