Shame Read Online Free PDF Page B

and couldn’t reach her; if another letter showed up shecould toss it away unread. She mustn’t let herself be lured into the trap again.
    But no amount of clever words helped. And she realised that it really wasn’t Vanja who scared her. It was something else.
        
    On this morning she had got up early, before it was even light. She never dared get into the shower when there was a risk that the little people might catch her unawares. It was so hard to dry off properly between all the rolls of fat, and she knew how the eczema on her back must look. The itching told the tale. If they saw it they would sound the alarm, and never in her life would she permit anyone to rub lotion on her. She owned two dresses that she always wore. Ankle-length tents with holes at the top. She had had them made fifteen years ago, and she didn’t want to think about the fact that one of them would soon be too small.
        
    After Saba had had her morning walk on the lawn and the balcony door was locked, Maj-Britt went to the kitchen and sat down at the table. She looked at the clock. It should be three or four hours before anyone showed up, but what did she know? They came and went pretty much as they liked. But, to be honest, she was eagerly awaiting them today. Her empty stomach was screaming to be filled. And despite the reproachful glances she had ordered extra provisions.
    Hi, Vanja .
    She really had no desire at all to say hi to her, but how else did you start off a letter? And how did you refute implied insults without revealing how upsettingthey were? She wanted to sound cool and unperturbed, show that she was above all the embarrassing things that a confused inmate thought she was entitled to write.
    As you guessed, I was surprised by your letter, to say the least. It took a while before I remembered who you were. As you said, some years have passed since we last saw each other. Both my family and I are doing fine. Göran is working as a department head in a big company that makes appliances and I work in the banking industry. We have two children who are both studying abroad now. I am quite content with my life and have only happy memories of my childhood. Mother and Father passed away many years ago, and I miss them terribly. That’s why we no longer drive up there very often, but prefer to take our holidays abroad. So I haven’t talked to anyone and know nothing about you or your fate. But I understand from your address that you wound up in trouble .
    Tonight Göran and I are going to the theatre, so I will have to close now.
    Best wishes, Maj-Britt Pettersson
    She read over what she had written. Exhausted from the effort, she decided that it would have to do. Now she just wanted to get it out of the flat and mailed so that she could put the whole thing behind her.
    It had irked her to write his name.
        
    The home help arrived at one o’clock today; a new one, someone she had never seen before. Another oneof those young girls, but at least she was Swedish. The kind who went about dressed in suggestive sweaters with the bra straps showing. And then they were surprised that rape was on the increase. When young girls dressed like whores, what were the boys supposed to think?
    ‘Hi, my name is Ellinor.’
    Maj-Britt looked with distaste at her outstretched hand. Never in her life would she dream of shaking it.
    ‘I don’t suppose you’ve been informed of the routine in this household?’
    ‘What do you mean?’
    ‘I hope at least you took along the correct shopping list when you went to the store.’
    ‘Yes, I think so.’
    The intruder kept smiling, and this irritated Maj-Britt even more. She took off a worn denim jacket decorated with small colourful plastic buttons with slogans printed on them; they gave the garment an even more slovenly appearance, if that were possible.
    ‘Shall I put the stuff in the fridge or do you want to do it yourself?’
    Maj-Britt scrutinised her from head to toe.
    ‘Just put the