a mushroomlamp looks like.'
'A mushroom,' said Joel.
Gertrud laughed and nodded.
Joel watched her disconnect the plug, which was high
up on one of the walls, and take down the lamp. She was
balancing precariously on the pile of books on the big
sofa. Then she fetched a broken sweeping brush handle
from the scullery, and fixed it in an old Christmas tree
foot. She produced some Sellotape and fastened the bulb
to the top of the brush handle, and covered it with an old
lampshade. She found some yellow fabric in the pile of
clothes on the floor, and spread it carefully over the
lampshade. Then she reconnected the plug.
To his surprise, Joel had to admit that the lamp really
did look like a mushroom.
Now the penny had dropped. He joined in on the fun
as well. He transformed the radiator under one of the
windows into a tiger. He painted stripes onto it, and gave
it a tail. He turned a wastepaper basket into a car by
attaching to it a circle of bent wire to make a steering
wheel. Meanwhile, Gertrud was busy turning a heavy
chest of drawers into a sailing boat.
Then they sat down on the floor to get their breath
back.
'That's better,' said Gertrud, sounding very pleased
with herself. 'But we really ought to redecorate this
room. Maybe we ought to board up the windows and
paint new windows on the walls.'
'But you wouldn't be able to air the room then,'
said Joel.
'Maybe not,' said Gertrud. 'But only maybe. Perhaps
we could do it even so?'
It seemed to Joel that when you thought about it, what
Gertrud was doing was no more chaotic than things sometimes
were back home with Samuel. The only difference
was that Gertrud never bothered to tidy up. As far as she
was concerned, there was no such thing as untidiness.
All these were thoughts flashing through Joel's mind
as the bells were ringing after he'd pulled the string
outside Gertrud's door.
In just a few seconds, he'd managed to think about
what had taken several hours to happen in reality.
That was one of the unanswered questions he'd noted
down on the last page of his logbook.
How could you remember things so quickly?
He tugged at the string again.
Perhaps Gertrud wasn't at home?
Sometimes she went to prayer meetings at her church
in the evening. She also used to work her way through
the town, knocking on doors and trying to sell a
religious magazine. She had told Joel that this was how
she earned her living. And he'd heard other people say
that Gertrud No-Nose was very poor.
But she's not poor, Joel thought.
If she didn't have any money, she would have no
trouble in inventing ways of making some.
Eventually he heard her shuffling up to the door in her
slippers.
He quickly changed his face so that he looked like
somebody who had just experienced a miracle.
The door opened, and there was Gertrud.
Her face was bright blue. As blue as the bluest of
summer skies.
'Joel!' she exclaimed.
Then she pulled him into the porch and flung her arms
around him.
Joel noticed that his face turned blue as well.
That's torn it, he thought angrily.
There aren't any blue people who have experienced a
miracle. There aren't any blue people at all, full stop.
Gertrud looked solemnly at him.
'I've heard what happened,' she said. 'Thank God
things turned out all right.'
She ushered him into the kitchen, where it was very
warm. The old wood-burning stove was crackling away.
On the kitchen table was a large dish full of blue paint.
'What are you doing?' Joel asked.
'I'd intended painting that white china tea service,'
said Gertrud. 'But it was so boring that I decided to paint
myself instead.'
Joel took off his hat and unbuttoned his jacket. He
could see in the little mirror on the kitchen table that his
nose and one cheek were blue.
He looked at Gertrud, at her blue face. Even the
handkerchief stuffed into the hole where her nose should
be was blue.
He suddenly felt very annoyed by the obvious fact
that she was out of her mind.
She ought to have realised that he would come to