wonât have to bother to learn the grammar? Itâll all come to me automatically?â She hands him the requested espresso.
â Câest exactement ça! â confirms Yaouen, barely keeping the excitement from his voice. âNo more lengthy manuals detailing countless rules of verbal agreement! No more plodding through the gullies of French conjugation! No more tedious ruminations over lists of cryptic phrases! The core sounds of French will give you access to the universal signs underlying all languages, through a process of neurolingual resonance. And those signs will in turn deliver the key to the specific grammar of French! Incredibly simple and effective!â
He takes a sip of his coffee, closing his eyes in silent appreciation.
Too bloody simple if you ask me , thinks Sandra. âSo if I understand you correctly,â she says, âthe key to gaining instant command of French is to tap into some sort of universal structure, which presumably is embedded in all of us.â
â Oui oui , thatâs it.â
âBut if I follow your logic, why do I need to practise French sounds at all? Why canât I start with English sounds? Shouldnât that also allow me to plug into that deep structure and then, by implication, into French?â
âGood point, but unfortunately it does not work like that. You need to prime the connection between the target language and the universal grammar, and the only way to do that is to begin with the sounds of French, Iâm afraid. No short cut here.â
Sandra eyes him warily.
âI already know the basic French sounds.â
âWith respect, you only think you do. Precision is paramount â no short cut here either. And thatâs what weâll be focusing on.â
His eyes drift back to the Streeton painting.
âBut the beauty of it is,â he adds, âyou can learn in one day.â
âOne day?â She cannot believe her ears.
âYes, one day. One session to be precise and youâll be babbling away happily in the language of Monsieur Molière, as the French have nicknamed their native tongue. You see, the sounds have to be mastered in a very short timeframe. That is why I make use of auxiliary techniques to help focus the mind. Some yogic breathing, but also a good old-fashioned system of rewards and penalties.â
He brings his cup back to his lips.
âPenalties?â asks Sandra, puzzled.
âThe rewards come in the form of small but delicious Belgian chocolates,â he continues, smiling. He motions at the box he has set down on the mahogany table.
She notices one of the tassels tied to the box is longer than the others, and a creamy colour. Made of natural fibres, perhaps.
âAs for the penalties, they are purely symbolic. Small taps on the back of the hand.â
Taps? The word pricks Sandra like a bee sting. What sort of crackpot is she dealing with?
âThere is nothing to worry about,â laughs Yaouen, who seems to have read the alarm in her eyes and the stiffness in her body. âAs I say, itâs all purely symbolic. A gentle reminder to try again, really. I am a professional, chère Sandra. I know what I am doing. I have tested many different techniques over the years and, believe me, this one delivers the best and quickest outcomes.â
Chocolates? Taps? Learning French in one session? Is this guy for real? Sandraâs scepticism has reached danger levels and she is this close to kicking him out. Thank you Yaouen, I appreciate the presentation, but this is not really what I was looking for.
Something, however, keeps her lips sealed. Perhaps the memory of Jennyâs words â people are âravingâ about him, her friend said. Or perhaps it is the colour in his eyes, which adds a strange aura to his words. Or the peculiar inflexion of his voice, which feels like velvet against her skin. She is not sure. Anyway, what has she got to lose? An
Matt Christopher, Stephanie Peters