staring vacantly into space with this sort of sad look on his face. Maybe I wouldnât be happy. Maybe I walk around looking sad too.
Because of my hamstring injury, I havenât really won anything big, yet. We lost the semifinal in football. Hamstring killed the outdoor track season.
Would I be happy if I really won the big one like he did? I donât know.
You were happy when you got invited to Germany, right?
Are we through? I mean, is our relationship done?
Oh, Iâm having a great time writing this!
Screw it. No more writing. Iâm going to play Skee-Ball on my phone.
Holy nuts. Iâve written a crapload of pages.
August 15th, 3:31 p.m.
OâHare Airport, Part IV
Skee-Ball?
I freaking hate Skee-Ball! Yet I insist on playing it over and over and over. My finger is kind of sweaty and it keeps getting stuck on my screen, so the ball wonât roll right. I got my high score like three weeks ago, and I canât get close to it anymore for some reason (I lost my Skee-Skills!), but I keep rolling the freaking phone balls anyway.
While I was playing, this little like five-year-old kid came over and sat on the chair next to me and watched. I asked if he wanted to play, but he shook his head, no (really slow, with his mouth open like, âNuh-uh,â which was pretty funny). Then after I bounced a ball off the 100 hole, I shouted, âDick Butkus!â really loud and the kid ran away and his dad glared at me.
Why must I screw up all the time?
At one time, I thought Iâd be a great Skee-Ball championâ¦
No more Skee-Ball.
How about this?
Letâs just get this over, okay?
When we finally talked on Wednesday night that week, the reason I sounded distant is because I felt distant. Andrew wasnât talking to me. Jerri wasnât talking to me. Gus wasnât talking to me. Karpinski had called me a wuss for not throwing toilet paper on Gusâs yard. Reese does whatever Karpinski does, so he called me a wuss too. At lunch on Tuesday, because I was totally stewing in my own meatballs, Cody told me I better shake off this stupid crap because Iâll soon be facing a lot worse stress than just a faked porn picture of me.
âYou think Ohio State fans are gonna be all âWelcome to the Horseshoe, Rein Stoneâ when you go in there to play football in college?â
âWhat?â Apparently the Horseshoe is the Ohio Stadiumâs nickname. I had no idea.
âPeople arenât nice. They donât like success. Shake it off, man,â Cody said.
Yeah, but it wasnât just the porn pic, was it? I hadnât told anyone about my hamstring. I didnât tell anyone about you or Andrew.
Shake it off? Not so easy.
The reason I didnât react at all when you said, âShould we take a break this summer?â is because I was a total basket case, Aleah. No, I didnât want to take a break. I donât know what a break is. But my mouth didnât work and my chest hurt so I couldnât breathe and I was mad at you for even saying that.
(You know I tried calling you in May. You know I texted you a lot. You didnât ever respond. You were already on a break. I didnât want the break.)
When does it end?
Man! What a sad story!
Shake it off, Rein Stone!
If it makes you feel any better, you werenât the only person I treated badly during those twenty-four hours. The next morning, Thursday morning of that bullshit week, Andrew came into the living room while I was putting on my shoes and said, âFelton. Itâs okay. I forgive you for missing my concert.â
Before you hate me for what I did to Andrew, you should know I hate me for it worse. Okay? Also, I hadnât slept for three days and I was constantly on the edge of barfing and I hadnât been able to run all out in track and there was a track meet that night and I was so upset about youâ¦I just sort of went illogically mean.
There is no excuse.
He said,