Sex and the Single Girl: The Unmarried Woman's Guide to Men Read Online Free PDF Page B

because of the community property and because in many cases he doesn’t really dislike his wife. He may be tired of her and tired of her understanding him perfectly, but basically they are pretty good friends. And the stronger the pressure from his girl friend, the more angry and tearful she is, the longer he looks at his projected alimony payments, the more friendly he starts feeling toward his wife, who, by this time knowing she is in trouble, has started to behave like a living doll.
    To be fair, probably every married man (and woman) has thought of divorce, and perhaps seriously enough to say “what if” to an attorney. But between the thought and the final decree lies an area as broad, stormy and unnavigable as the Straits of Magellan.
    Now just where does that leave the single girl with a married man in her life? It leaves her with very poor marriage material on her hands, that’s where.
    But since we agreed not to talk about getting married, let’s explore the pros and cons of having anything at all to do with a married man.
    These I would say are the cons:
He almost never gets a divorce.
He is practically useless on Saturday nights, Sundays, holidays and nine times out of ten on your birthday.
You can’t introduce him around as your beau.
He dives under tables in restaurants when friends of his wife walk in.
He never introduces you to his boss or other influential figures in his life.
While not free to make you an honest woman, he has a screaming fit if you look at another man.
He will say just about anything that pops into his head (“You’re beautiful, you’re sexy, you’re the love of my life”) except what you really want to hear, which is “Will you marry me?”
He tells lies.
You may fall in love with him and suffer.
    This is what’s in his favor:
He can be your devoted slave and remain “faithful” to you for years.
He will love you more passionately than the woman he married, and prefer your company to hers.
He will spoon-feed you the praise and appreciation you rarely get from the single fellow who thinks telling you that you have pretty eyes might be construed as a proposal of marriage.
He is often generous with gifts and money. If he isn’t, you can explain the economic facts of life.
Any visiting married man on expense account is the greatest date since Diamond Jim Brady. He will take you to the best restaurants, the best night clubs, order the best champagne.
He will give you sound advice about your job, insurance, investments and even about getting along with your family and other men.
He is frequently marvelous in bed and careful not to get you pregnant.
    It seems to me the solution is not to rule out married men but to keep them as pets. While they are “using” you to varnish their egos, you “use” them to add spice to your life. I say “them” advisedly. One married man is dangerous. A potpourri can be fun.
    There’s no gainsaying that to take a married man seriously and fall in love is like dope addiction—dangerous and degrading. And you have to watch both of you every second because his greatest pleasure seems to be in getting you to take him seriously and fall in love!
    But by and large I think you hold the better cards. Even though he has someone at home to bind up his wounds when it’s over, you are free to heal yours with a man younger than he, freer than he, and he suffers.
    His Wife
    What about the harm you may do his wife?
    I’m afraid I have a rather cavalier attitude about wives. The reason is this:
    A wife, if she is loving and smart, will get her husband back every time. He doesn’t really want her not to. He’s only playing. (She may have played herself on occasion.) If she doesn’t get him back, it’s probably because she’s lazy, blind, or doesn’t want him. If he’s a hopeless chaser, like the Don Juan, he will chase regardless of who does or does not give him succor, so no need to feel guilty.
    Many people have said this before me but no man or