Sex and the Single Girl: The Unmarried Woman's Guide to Men Read Online Free PDF

driving Janet Van der Hofstadt and a private nurse to Ensenada that afternoon. Janet was in a little trouble and the doctors in Ensenada were excellent and cooperative. He’d just get Janet settled in the house she’d rented, be right home and … fade out. End of romance.
    The reason I think a Don Juan should be part of every girl’s past (heaven help you if you are just beginning to go through one) is that it gives you a chance to get the romantic dream (white knight, white charger) out of your system. A Don Juan is unbelievably romantic.
    His telephone conversation would make a movie scenario, though a bad one. It runs something like this:
    SOUND: PHONE RINGS. RECEIVER UP
    YOU: Hello?
    D.J.: (QUIETLY) Darling … how long has it been since I’ve held you in my arms?
    YOU: (FLUSTERED BUT PLEASED) Oh, Mark, honestly …
    D.J.: Answer me … how long has it been?
    YOU: Well, I’d say about one day, six hours, three minutes and forty-five seconds.
    D.J.: That’s too long. What are you wearing?
    YOU: Oh, I have on a little green ribbon knit.
    D.J.: I don’t like you in that dress. Or any other dress. I’m going to come over there and tear it off your lovely body. (THEN JUST BEFORE YOU FAINT, CHANGE OF VOICE EFFICIENTLY) Darling, we’re going to a cocktail party at Frank Baum’s. Pick you up in fifteen minutes. Bye, darling. (KISS SOUND)
    A Don Juan’s drive and attention to detail are awe-inspiring. He will work with as much zeal to snare a mousy girl as to seduce a beauty queen. He doesn’t stint on good restaurants, good wine or good theatre tickets. He is afraid to take a chance on inferior props for his act. And one of his major props is his status. He is single and seems available.
    A Don Juan is patient. The average man with an urge will charge like a Pampas bull, smear your lipstick, scatter your bobby pins, crush your rib cage and scare the living daylights out of you. When you don’t respond, he is baffled and hurt.
    Don Juan would curl his lip at such tactics. He never makes passes without first establishing desire. He will devote several nights to the project if necessary, which it rarely is.
    Many Don Juans write letters—in purple prose that enables them, by leaving a note in your mailbox, to snap you back like a rubber band just when you’re beginning to pull away.
    He sends gifts and flowers.
    One Don Juan I heard about gave each of his girls a large fake-fur dog about three feet high that would be named after him, he on his mistress’ bed, and be her live-in companion. Months after our hero had been sent packing, there would be his big furry namesake looking reproachfully at her out of his blue-bead eyes.
    A Don Juan is sick in the head of course—as sick as any chap who thinks he is Napoleon or pads around in tennis shoes peeping in windows. But he is also the man, alas, who can temporarily make you feel like Audrey Hepburn sneaking past the palace guard to fall into the arms of Gregory Peck.
    You can be forewarned about a Don Juan and walk right into his trap like a sleepwalker because one of his skills is making you feel you’re different from all other girls. Advising a girl already in the clutches of a Don Juan is like talking to a zombie. She can’t hear you. You might as well try to stop a launched missile as try to break up the affair. And it will end one of two ways: He will get tired and mosey on to his next prey, or his prey will tire of his subtle torture and flee. It may even require several fleeings but finally one of them will take.
    The Married Man
    I don’t have to describe a married man. He is as available for observation as the common housefly and about as welcome to many single girls as the common cold.
    I think he is much maligned. It isn’t his wife who doesn’t understand him. She understands him perfectly! It’s his girl friend. And what she doesn’t understand is how come he doesn’t get a divorce.
    It’s simple. He doesn’t want one. Because of the children,