Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls Read Online Free PDF Page B

dreams of and every bookie fears.
    So far Jim had failed to pull off the six-horse Super-Yankee or, as future generations would know it, the
Pooley
.
    But it was just a matter of time.
    Regarding the looks of Jim. They were varied. He was much the same stamp as John, and but for the obvious differences bore many similarities.
    “Come on in,” said John Omally.
    “Thank you sir,” said Jim Pooley.
    “No, hold on,” said Omally. “I was coming out.”
    “I’ll join you, then,” said Jim.
    And so he did.
     
    The two friends strolled up Mafeking Avenue and turned right into Moby Dick Terrace. Jim’s face wore a troubled look which John saw fit to mention.
    “What ails you, Jim?” asked John. “You wear a troubled look.”
    “I am perplexed,” said Pooley. “I just ran into Soap.”
    “Ah,” said John. “I saw him at lunchtime. How did his interview go at the
Mercury
?”
    “None too well by all accounts. Soap seemed very upset. He said that the world was going mad and it wasn’t his fault.”
    “Wah-wah,” said John.
    “Wah-wah?” said Jim.
    “As in wah-wah pedal. Go on with what you were saying.”
    “Soap said that he’d expected things to change a bit while he’d been away. But he didn’t see how they could have changed
before
he went away, without him noticing at the time.”
    “I am perplexed,” said John.
    “It was about the Queen being assassinated. And Branson being on the poundnotes.”
    “Who’s Branson?”
    “The bloke whose face is on the poundnotes, according to Soap.”
    “But I thought Prince Charles was on the poundnotes.”
    “That’s what I told Soap. I showed him a poundnote and I said, ‘Look, Soap, it’s Prince Charles.’”
    “And what did he say?”
    “He said, no, it was definitely Branson.”
    “He’s confusing him with that film star,” said Omally.
    “Which film star?”
    “Charles Branson. In the
Death Wish
movies.”
    “I think you’ll find that’s Charles Manson,” said Jim knowledgeably.
    “Oh yeah, that’s the fellow. Wrote a lot of the Beach Boys’ big hits and then went on to become a star in Hollywood.”
    “You’ve got him.”
    They reached the Memorial Library and sat down upon Jim’s favourite bench. Early-evening sunlight filtered through the oak trees, sparrows gossiped and pussycats yawned.
    Omally took out his fags and offered one to Jim. “Soap will be all right,” he said. “It’s just all the excitement of getting back and everything. He’ll soon sort himself out.”
    “I hope so. Some of the stuff he was telling me was seriously barking. He said a policeman had showed him pictures of a fat man in a black T-shirt and shorts walking down the middle of a motorway at one hundred miles an hour.”
    “Oh dear,” said John, lighting up.
    “And he said that the more he thought about it the more he noticed odd little changes that didn’t make sense. That things just weren’t the way they should be.”
    “He had been drinking a bit,” said John.
    “He owned up to that.” Jim took John’s lighter and lit his fag. “I used to have a lighter just like this,” he said.
    Omally stretched and yawned.
    “And come to think of it,” said Jim, “I used to have a suit like that and a pair of winklepicker boots.”
    “They’re only borrowed, Jim. And if all goes well tonight I’ll buy you a dozen suits and a dozen pairs of boots.”
    “Yeah, right. But I am rather worried about old Soap.”
    “He’ll be fine. It’s just some temporary aberration. When I last saw him we drank a toast to Brentford and how what he liked about it best was that nothing ever changes here. I mean, look around you, can you imagine this place changing?”
    Jim looked all around him. He saw the mellow-bricked library and the streets of terraced Victorian houses. He saw a crumbling wall plastered with movie posters, one of which, coincidentally, advertised Virgin Films’ latest release. Charles Manson starring as Forrest Gump. And above and