Separation Read Online Free PDF Page A

waiting. Sanders didn't pull any punches for Jameson, but there was no doubt he would have prepared Tatum. Jameson had thought his little midnight visits were a secret, but now he doubted it. She had probably known the whole time.
    “May I come in?” he asked, once he got to the doorway.
    Tate was laying flat on her bed, but he could tell she was awake. She took a deep breath, let it out as a sigh. He held very still, waiting for her voice. It felt like it had been a lot longer than a week since he had last heard it.
    Probably because I never really listened.
    “You never asked permission any of the other times, so what's stopping you now?”
    Jameson strode in to the room and went to his chair, which was pulled up to the left side of her bed. He took off his jacket and draped it over the back, before sitting down. She still hadn't turned to look at him. He cleared his throat.
    “Do you want to do this now?” Jameson asked. She nodded her head.
    “Like a band aid, just rip it off,” she replied.
    “ I'm sorry .”
    Tate looked shocked. She glanced at him, and then her hand fumbled around on the mattress, looking for the bed controller. She found it and pushed a button until she was sitting almost upright. She had some color back in her face, though she was still much paler than she had been a month ago. It made her dark eyes and hair stand out. He couldn't stop staring at her.
    Have I ever just looked at her?
    “For what?” she asked. He wasn't quite sure how to answer her, wasn't sure if there were enough words, even. If there would be enough time, enough space, enough air, to express just how sorry he was to her.
    “For ..., everything,” he finally answered. She managed a laugh.
    “Sounds like a cop out. You don't have to apologize just to make me feel better. I'm okay, I don't -,” she started, but his anger at himself boiled over and spilled onto her.
    “I'm sorry I hurt you,” Jameson snapped. “I'm sorry I was too stupid and pigheaded to just call you. I'm sorry I didn't stop you from leaving. I am really sorry I tried to give you that money, and I am very sorry I didn't go after you that night, but most of all, I'm sorry I didn't kill Dunn .”
    “Thank you. That means a lot,” she told him, but her voice was flat. He narrowed his eyes.
    “You don't believe me.”
    He said it as a statement, not a question. Tate shrugged.
    “I don't know. I'm trying not to think about it,” she replied.
    “I never stop thinking about it. Thinking that maybe I -,”
    “Why are you here, Jameson? You kicked me out. You brought her home to embarrass me – mission accomplished, by the way. I quite literally almost died from embarrassment,” she chuckled. His heart skipped a beat.
    Dead? Never. You can't leave me.
    “ Not funny, ” Jameson growled. “I was so upset with you. I thought you had gone back on your word. I saw those pictures of you, with that guy, and I just got so angry. So stupid . Jesus, what a fucking night. I even impressed myself with how much of a bastard I was.”
    He groaned and leaned forward, putting his face in his hands. He wasn't the kind of man who could be easily intimidated, but suddenly the thought of meeting her gaze made him feel nervous. Sick. Made him feel ashamed .
    Because I'm not worthy of her.
    “Is this a game?” Tate whispered. Jameson shook his head.
    “No, baby girl. No games,” he whispered back.
    “What are we, if we don't have games?”
    “ Something else. ”
    “I hate you,” she sobbed, and Jameson lifted his head. She was back to staring at the ceiling, but now tears were streaming down her face. He frowned.
    “I want you to know that I -,”
    “ I fucking hate you! What about that statement don't you get!?” she was suddenly screaming at him. He sat back, a little stunned.
    “I am getting it, loud and clear. I just think -,”
    “No! No! You don't get to think! I almost fucking died, Jameson! And I'm not blaming that on you, but you sure didn't