worn him out this morning. Come along now.’
‘You can say that again,’ Selby thought as he watched the girls ride across the paddock and into the woods. ‘I never wanted to become these girls’ private pet. It’s all Mrs Trifle’s fault. Whenever the girls go on an outing they ask Mrs Trifle if it’s okay to take me along — and it’s
always
okay with her! How about me? I spent all morning running to keep up with those horses. That’s not my idea of a good time.’
Selby peered over the edge of the loft and looked at the horses that had been left behind.
‘I feel sorry for these two. Sleepytime Sal is okay I guess but poor Mr Wiggle,’ he thought as he watched the horse move back and forth in his stall. ‘He’s so frisky. He’ll go bonkers cooped up in there all day.’
Selby lay there watching.
‘Horses. Why do girls go completely ga-ga over horses? Dogs are so much more fun. They jump on your lap and lick you. They chase sticks — well, some of them do. But I guess you can’t ride a dog. Maybe it isn’t the horses they like but the riding. Sitting on a horse’s back. Bouncing around. Weird. Of course, I have no idea what it’s like because I’ve never done it.’
Selby looked at the sleepy horse and then the frisky one.
‘How hard can it be to ride a dopey old horse like Sleepytime Sal?’ he wondered. ‘Maybe I’ll just have a quick ride around the ring to see what all the fuss is about.’
Selby climbed up the side of one of the stalls and pulled a saddle off a rail.
‘Wake up there, Sal,’ he said, putting the saddle on the sleepy horse. ‘Don’t panic but you’re in for a treat. You’re about to be ridden by a real live dog — a talking one at that. Hmmm, let’s see, how does this seat belt go on? It must go around the horse’s belly.’
Selby jumped into the stall, climbed under the horse and fastened the girth. He opened the door and then climbed up on a stool.
‘Steady on, Sal, my gal,’ he said, climbing into the saddle. ‘That’s a good girl. Okay now, go! Move it out there. Oooooooo. This feels all rocky and funny. I think I need a seat belt for myself.’
The horse walked slowly out of the stall, then into the riding ring and out the open gate and into the paddock.
‘Oooops, I meant to close that,’ Selby thought. ‘Oh, well. Come on, this is getting boring. How about a little action, Sal?’ Selby said, as the horse broke into a trot. ‘That’s more like it. Okay, now turn right! Come on, Sal, I said, turn! Struth! Where are the handlebars on this thing? Uh-oh, I forgot to put those steering string things on her. But I know what to do,’ Selby said, grabbing a pawful of mane, ‘I’ll steer her with this. I saw someone do it in a movie on TV.’
The horse was going faster and broke into a canter as it went through another open gate and down the hill.
‘Stop it, Sal! Stop! Whoa! What are you doing? Not that way! If the girls see me I’m a done dog! They’ll know I’m not an ordinarynon-talking non-horse-riding dog! Turn around! Go back! About face! You’re supposed to be sleepy and slow and you’re as fast as a fire engine!’
Selby stopped pulling on the mane and clung to the saddle with all paws as the horse shot down through a gully, across a stream and up the side of a hill.
‘I can’t stop her and I can’t jump off because she’s going too fast!’ Selby thought as he saw the girls’ horses on the track ahead.
‘Oh, nooooooo!’ he cried. ‘The seat belt is loosening up! I’m going down!’
Selby and the saddle slid around under the horse with Selby still clinging to it. Then, as he flashed past the girls, he heard Mrs Martingale cry, ‘Mr Wiggle is loose! There’s movement at the station! The colt from Somerset has got away! After him, girls!’
‘Mr Wiggle?’ Selby thought as he clung for dear life. ‘But I thought you were a girl.’ Selby turned his head around to look backwards towards the girls. ‘Gulp. You’re no
Learning to Kill: Stories