See You in Hell (Mel Goes to Hell Series Book 2) Read Online Free PDF

Lili?"
    "Mmm?"
    "I can't seem to find a mankini online, because the sex shops are blocked." Her voice carried over the cubicles and some heads popped up to glance at Mel before slowly shrinking out of sight.
    "You can't look at sex toys at work," Lili whispered.
    Mel was both annoyed and confused. "But don't we regulate prostitutes and brothels?"
    Lili gave her the smile that made Mel feel stupid. "Yes, but not adult shops." She kept her voice low. "I guess you'll just have to go out to one and see what they have. Ring them first, though."
    Mel lowered her voice to match Lili's. "I don't know where they are. I've never been into a sex shop. I wouldn't know what to ask for."
    "Oh, the nearest one is on Murray Street," Lili said dismissively. "It's called XXX or something. Their number should be in the phone book – ring them and I'll escort you there so you don't get lost."
    Mel rang the number on the phone book's website and explained to the chirpy woman on the phone what she was after.
    "Oh, we have them in several colours. Which would you like? They're part of the Bang Him range, sweetie." Mel wondered if the woman was testing out the merchandise under the phone desk, she sounded so cheerful.
    "What colours do they come in?"
    "Oh, there's fluorescent green and pink, black lycra and black leather with or without studs, sweetie. I highly recommend the studs." The woman gave an excited giggle.
    "Green," Mel said firmly. "Is it okay if I pick it up this afternoon?"
    "Sure, sweetie," the woman purred. "We have plenty more in the Bang Him range that you might like."
    Mel ended the call as quickly and politely as she could.
    She and Lili drove to the adult shop and parked right out front, as Lili insisted, though it's not as if the shop had a back entrance or rear car park.
    Inside the shop, they were greeted by an excited woman clad in black and silver latex. She couldn't stop expressing how thrilled she'd be to help them. Mel wondered whether this was the suspected product-tester she'd spoken to on the phone.
    "We're here for the mankini? I rang earlier?" Mel asked hesitantly.
    "Absolutely! Let me show you the whole range," the woman gushed. Her name badge read 'Mitzi'.
    She took both girls over to a display that was clearly the province of the Bang Him range. Mel leaned over to look more closely at a strange-shaped item before she read the name and decided she didn't want to know what it did.
    "Are you sure you want the green, sweetie?" Mitzi cooed, her hand waving toward a studded black vinyl number.
    Mel choked as she spotted a dildo so big she wondered how anyone could use it for anything but decoration.
    Lili answered, "Green would be lovely. It's for a work colleague."
    "Oh, how delightful," Mitzi said with a wink. "Is there anything else you'd like?"
    Mel tried to work out why they had a display of dildos with tentacles and what looked like strange torture implements, at 30% off, no less, in honour of the release of 'Monsters in the Dark', whatever they were, then decided that she didn't want to know that, either. Surely monsters should be kept in the dark, where they belonged…
    "No, thank you," Mel managed to say, swallowing hard. She decided she'd rather be in Hell than here.
     

    "Good morning, Gerry brought photos!" Lili told Mel as she arrived on Monday morning of another fresh week in HELL.
    "Of what?" Mel asked, her mouth watering at the aroma of Lili's coffee.
    Lili took a slow sip, savouring the taste with her eyes closed, before she swallowed and said, "Pictures his wife took of the mankini. He loved it – you're officially his favourite person in the office!"
    Mel was ready to jump Lili for the coffee, she was panting for one. "Great." She forced herself to walk away.
    Unlike Lili, Mel's budget didn't stretch to include expensive barista brew from the award-winning coffee shop downstairs, so she took her plain mug to the kitchen for some of the free instant stuff.
    She grimaced as she took her first