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knock,” Dad says from my open doorway. “Can I come in?”
    “Sure.” I shrug.
    “How are you doing?” He’s studying the white metal of my armoire, picking at the peeling paint as though he’s never noticed it before. He’s all dressed up in his suit for work. His black hair is thinning, and I can’t help but wonder what Mom would say if she could see it. If she’d tease him like they loved to do or if she’d keep quiet because she’d have a little gray in hers. Or a couple wrinkles around her mouth. She probably wouldn’t, though. It hasn’t been very long, and I know Dad’s aging is because she’s gone.
    “Okay.” Picking up my brush, I run it through my hair, wishing my answer were true. I’m scared to death to show my face at school. Scared to see the looks from everyone else. Hear the stories of summer parties I missed. See my group of five that used to be six.
    I have no doubt everyone knows. I can’t help but wonder if even after a summer, it’s just as fresh for them as it is for me.
    “Are you sure?”
    My eyes catch his in the mirror. He holds them, and it’s like a time machine, briefly making me feel like nothing has changed. Maybe if we keep looking at each other like this it will make things easier.
    “Yes.”
    Dad gives me his ten billionth sad sigh. “Brynn…do you want to do this? Maybe we can look into online school or something. I know they have programs like that now. You’d just have to go in once a week or so. That might be…easier.”
    Wow. It sounds like he already looked into this. The thought makes my palms sweat. If Dad’s worried it’ll be this bad, it’ll probably be worse than I thought.
    My first instinct is to jump at the opportunity—scream “Yes!” because I don’t ever want to face my friends again. I don’t want to see the accusation in their eyes. Watch as they run my lies through their heads and turn them into something more than they were.
    My only other option is to keep wandering around here, though. To have to look at Dad through a mirror because it somehow gives him the distance he needs to really be able to do it. To see Brynn and not the daughter who got pregnant and lost a baby at sixteen.
    No, thank you.
    “I have to go back to school, Dad. Maybe it won’t be that bad.”
    His eyes dart away from mine. “Okay. Call me if you need anything. I love you.” And I know he does. He might not be good with words, even worse so with Mom gone, but Dad loves me. He loved us both. If all this didn’t change how he feels. If this didn’t make him think choosing me turned into more hassle than I’m worth.
    With a kiss to the top of my head, he walks out. Love me or not, it’s the first time he’s kissed me since before.
    …
    Eyes follow me all day.
    Whispers, but no one actually speaks to me. There’s an invisible force field around me, keeping anyone from getting too close when I walk down the hallways. All my female teachers hug me. All the male teachers look at me awkwardly.
    It’s not like it is in the movies. People don’t put signs on my back or shove mean notes in my puke-green locker. They don’t cough while muttering “slut” under their breath or trip me in the hallway or anything like that. Mean girls and bullies would almost be better, because right now, it’s like I don’t matter enough for anything. I’m not worth the time to pick on, but I’m still the black widow no one wants to get close to. Silence sometimes hurts more than anything.
    For the first time in my life, I’m an outcast.
    I used to be Ellie and Diana’s best friend—the girl who kicked ass at pottery. I was Ian’s girlfriend. Runner-up to Diana for sophomore winter formal princess. I had friends. Tons of them, and now, just like with Dad, people struggle to look me in the eyes. No one knows what to make of the girl who got knocked up by the small-town baseball star, only to lose it all. Lose my baby. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the