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consciousness totally against my will.
    That was supposed to make Kenny feel bad, so he’d tell me to go back to my sweet dreams. But when my eyes were all the way open, Kenny stood in front of me with a white towel wrapped loosely around his waist and a super-sized grin on his face. I knew what he wanted, but he wasn't gonna get it.
    I guess he could see my answer by the look in my eyes.
    “ Ah, man! ” he whined, like he was a kid being denied candy. “ You're serious about this, aren't you? ”
    “ What part of 'I want our wedding night to be special' don't you understand? ”
    He eased down onto the bed and brushed his lips against the same place on my cheek where Roman had left his mark. “ Any time you and I are together is special to me, ” he said, looking into my eyes. “ Don't you feel that way too? ”
    I nodded, even though by agreeing, I was lying. I mean, Kenny really was my hero. He was the best man that I knew. It was just that he didn't do it for me anymore.
    Inside, I sighed. I remembered the days when I couldn't get enough of Kenny Larson. From high school until our junior year in college, I could've sexed this man for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all the snacks in between.
    But then came our senior year, and my mother's illness, and incredible medical bills, and her death, and my do-right father who believed that he should never be a debtor. All of that led to the emptying of a college fund that my parents had saved for years, and a hefty tuition bill that had to be paid if I was going to graduate with my class from USC.
    And that led to the day I walked into Foxtails, one of the more popular upscale strip clubs in LA, dropped my pants for Buck, the owner, and took off everything else a few hours later for a few hundred men.
    But it was in the VIP room where I earned the most. And not just in money. I mean, I was supposed to be back there for the men, but I was getting mine , too. There were men -- especially some of the big ballers -- who knew how to bring it to a woman. They gave it to me in every way anyone could imagine: lying down, standing up, upside down. There were times when I wanted to give the men their money back, just tell them that the pleasure was all mine. Of course, I never did that, but I made sure that I had seconds, thirds, fourths and beyond with some of those dudes. Those men turned me into a sex-craving woman who'd rather be in a king-sized bed than a five-star restaurant.
    I'd had sex with so many men that it got to the point where I had to think about being in that back room when I was in bed with Kenny. Which was why I'd held back my goodies from him for the last three weeks. This was my quest to make our wedding night special, because the truth was that's what I really wanted, and that's what Kenny deserved.
    Kenny pressed his lips against mine, but when his tongue started seeking permission to come inside, I pushed myself up and away.
    “ Not even a kiss? ”
    “ Nope, ” I said, “ because if I start kissing you, I won't want to stop and then it'll be my fault. ” That was the truth. I was so horny right about now -- from my encounter last night, my dream this morning, and the lock I'd put between my legs for the last three weeks -- that a kiss would bust me wide open.
    “ A'right, ” he said begrudgingly. “ But babe, it's gonna be all the way live tomorrow night. ” He strutted to our walk-in closet as if he was moving to music. His towel was draped so loosely that all I had to do was blow and he'd be butt-naked. But I let him get away because I loved Kenny Larson something fierce and my self-imposed celibacy was part of my plan to get back all the love that I once had for him.
    Kenny was the truth when it came to being a good man. He'd taken care of me during my darkest days and it wasn't his fault that I'd ended up finding a whole new life as a dancer at Foxtails. Truly, I wanted to get back to the place where we were before I started cheating on Kenny. Not