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this is being uploaded to the internet, but still. Feels…weird. And strange. And now I see it may be my fault the kid says things like that.
    “That’s a baby.” Her finger stretches over and touches the screen over the smallest dot in the entire world.
    Pretty sure I’ve eaten hunks of chocolate bigger than that thing.
    “Everything look okay?” Luke asks what I know I should but can’t seem to.
    “Looks great,” she reassures him and then turns to me.
    “That thing is a baby?” Dean ponders out loud squinting at the screen.
    “Yup,” Dr. Blake answers.
    “But it’s like popcorn sized. Maybe.”
    “They grow, genius,” Luke rolls his eyes.
    “They pop.” His joke is remotely cute.
    Oh God…someday I’m gonna pop. Explode? Just overly expand until my waistband is the same size as the equator and…and…I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking breathe.
    “Luke and Dean, how about letting me have just a few moments alone with Maxx?” Dr. Blake removes the object from me.
    Luke gives me a look and then the Kid. Evaluating the situation, he nods and tilts his head towards the door. “Let’s go hang out in the waiting room for a minute.”
    Dean lets go of my hand and follows Luke out of the room leaving me alone with the doctor. She gives me a minute alone in silence, which I use to close my eyes and take long deep breaths.
    I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this. Like two months ago, my biggest problem was getting Logan to notice me and now…now I’m about to bring a new life into this world and I just…I just—
    “Wanna talk about it?” Dr. Blake’s voice speaks up. My eyes open as I ease my body up to make better eye contact. “I recognize the look.”
    “The look?”
    “Well, typically, there are two looks patients have. The ‘Oh my God! We did it! We finally did it!’ and ‘Oh my God…what did we do? What the hell did we do?’. And you, sweetheart, look like your heart has jumped into your throat.” I don’t answer but I can feel my lips tremble. “Maxx, I’m gonna be honest with you. It’s a big step. But from what I can see, you’re not doing this alone. And that’s gonna make a helluva difference. Take this pregnancy one step at a time, and I will do everything I can to help make the process as painless and informative as possible.”
    For the first time since I entered the office, I breathe a little easier. However, when she plants a comforting hand on my thigh, I feel the tears in my eyes start to form, hitching my breath.
    “It’s okay to cry,” she reassures me.
    So I do.
    Just let me cry right now, please. I know that my life is about to be flipped upside down, yet again, but this is the first time it’s all so real. Do you mind if I rest my head on your shoulder? For just a minute? I really just need one.

Chapter 5
Logan
    10 days. 10 days of dieting, constant photos, interviews, being groomed on what to say, how to say it, what not to say, what to fucking wear, how to fucking breathe in the ring.
    No fucking joke. How to BREATHE in the ring. Because I must’ve missed that memo all these years that there is a fucking wrong way to put oxygen into your body so that you don’t pass out.
    “Jake is impressed, ya know?” LC says, pulling up in front of my apartment complex.
    I miss my house. Never had to live in an apartment before. It fucking blows.
    I don’t answer. I raise my eyebrows in response.
    “He likes you, which is unusual. He doesn’t really like any of the fighters he’s had. He likes the money they bring in. Big difference.”
    “What can I say? Everyone loves me.” My cocky remark brings an unexpected glisten in her eye.
    There it is again. She gets that look at least twice a day, every day. Do you know if there’s such thing as ‘Hot Girl’ repellent? Don’t laugh. I’m fucking serious. I need that.
    “That they do…” The moment she wets her lips I know it’s time for my exit. Getting ready to climb out of the car, she stops me