Satan Burger Read Online Free PDF Page A

author in the whole world."
    "Of course," says Mega-Sellout.
    Nan is the next in line.  She wears dark long-limbed clothes and she’s bald with the words blonde hair tattooed on her head where the hair should have been.  She drops a red book onto the table.
    "This isn’t my book," says Mega-Sellout.
    "So?" Nan replies.  The author bearing a suffer-dazed face.  "This is a book signing, isn’t it?"
    "Yes, but for my book.  Not . . ." he glances at the cover, "Mark Amerika’s."
    "But I didn’t like your book.  This one’s way better.  Sign it."
    "Why should I?  It’s not mine."
    "You always sign your own books.  Why can’t you sign someone else’s for a change?"
    "Go away you weird person."
    "R. Kelly signed my Ratt CD."
    "GET OUT!"

    Nan leaves the store.
    She’s a friend of mine.  Well, sort of.  She is the girlfriend of one of my friend/roommates besides Mort and Christian.  She never talks to me, probably because I never talk to her, but I still consider her a friend.  Christian doesn’t really get along with her either, but they consider each other friends too.  Girls find Christian disgusting and creepy, probably because he is.
    We meet her outside the tower shops, Christian still drinking gold flakes.  The proper greetings are exchanged and we get down to business.  I call it business , but what I’m really meaning to is: finding a way to fight boredom . It’s hard to find anything interesting to do in a world that has gone boring, but every day we try to do something exciting, always keeping busy, so that we don’t end up like the world outside of Rippington.  It is necessary.
    "So what’s going on tonight?" Nan asks, scratching at a hole in the armpit of her shirt. 
    "We got the show," Christian says, "but there’s not much else to do."
    "There’s always something to do.  You just got to figure out what that something is."
    "We could go drink . . ." Christian says.  "I’m already buzzing, but I can get you something."
    "I don’t have that much money."  Nan squeezes her face inward like she always does.  I think it’s her poor attempt at being cute.  Nan is rather attractive, even though she’s a skinhead girl, but she’s too much of a tough guy to be cute. 
    "Are you kidding?" Christian chuckles.  "You’re the richest bitch I know."
    She punches him.  A common thing for Nan to do and Christian never punches her back.
    I decide to speak.  "We could go see Satan."
    Nan sneers at me as if I did something wrong.
    I continue, word-staggering, "He moved into the empty room . . . behind the warehouse . . . by John’s."
    "I thought Mortician was just joking about that, guy."  Christian drinks some gold. 
    "No, it’s really Satan, the devil."
    "What is he doing here?  Trying to lay the world to waste?"
    "He’s opening a chain of fast food restaurants called Satan Burger , home of the deep-fried hamburger."
    "Sounds good," Christian says.
    "Sounds disgusting," Nan says.
    I say, "The first one opened up in the village.  I want to go."
    Christian complains, "We can’t do that now.  We just ate.  Not to mention the village is too far to walk to.  Maybe after the show."
    Then the three of us realize the boredom sinking in.
    I stare down at the jambling carpet-sidewalk, warding off a shrug.

    This is what I can see with my other eyes:
    Mort is with the third of my roommates, who is Gin – a rattle-lofty fellow with hippie dreadlocks and shoes that don’t match, and he wears a shirt that says Nan’s Boyfriend .  Mort is trying to set up the stage, getting little help from Gin as he never gets help from anyone.  Gin just stands there, watching Mort set up the drums, drinking from his mega-drink. 
    "Arr, help me ye glimey bastard!" Mort says.
    "I’m on break," Gin responds. 
    "Hand me that cymbal."
    Gin slurps his mega-drink.
    "Oi!"
    The cymbal is tossed near Mort, crash-smashing.
    There are five taps at the door.
    "There he is," Gin says.
    "There who is?" Mort