Saraband for Two Sisters Read Online Free PDF Page A

mother realized. How could we help it? We had heard the servants talk; we had seen them go off into the woods together; we knew that Bessie Camus had become pregnant and our mother had arranged for her to marry one of the grooms. We knew that babies were not born under gooseberry bushes.
    Our own home, where life ran smoothly and there was complete accord between our parents, was different even from life at Castle Paling. Our cousins should be more knowledgeable in this matter of the relationship between men and women than we were. Rozen had said: ‘Father has been unfaithful all his married life. Whenever a new servant comes he assesses her. He thinks he has a right to her as he is lord of the castle. Grandfather was like that. Of course, if he is first he finds a husband for the girl after, and he’ll give them a cottage so she gets a sort of dowry. That’s why so many of the children around are our half-brothers and sisters.’
    It was hard for us to reconcile this way of life with that lived by our own parents; but we were aware that it happened, which brings me back to the fact that we were not as innocent as our mother believed us to be.
    Lying in bed that night I tried to talk to Bersaba about all this.
    ‘He said we were ripe and ready,’ I announced with a giggle.
    ‘Grandfather is the sort of man who sees all women as possible bedfellows for some man or other.’
    ‘You’d think he would have lost interest in all that now.’
    ‘I don’t suppose people like that ever do.’
    ‘He was looking at you all the time,’ I reminded her.
    ‘What nonsense.’
    ‘Oh yes, he was. It was almost as though he knew something.’
    ‘I’m going to sleep,’ said Bersaba.
    ‘I wonder why he looked at you like that?’
    ‘What …?’ she said sleepily.
    ‘I said I wondered why he looked at you like that.’
    ‘He didn’t. Good night.’
    And although I wanted to go on talking she pretended to be asleep.
    Two days passed. We went for rides with our cousins and sometimes we explored the castle. I went down to the sea and looked for seashells and pieces of semi-precious stones on the beaches. We had quite a collection of raw amethyst, topaz and interesting quartzes which we had found from time to time. I used to love to stand on the beach while the waves thundered round me and sent their spray over me, and I would shriek with delight as I stepped back just in time to avoid getting drenched.
    I liked to lean against the castle walls and marvel at their strength. They and the sea were like two mighty opponents—the work of man and the work of nature. Of course the sea was the more powerful; it could encroach on the land and sweep over that mighty edifice; but even then it would not completely destroy it. Grandfather Casvellyn had defied the sea and the sea had won that battle—but not completely, for he still lived in the Seaward Tower to shake his fist at the mighty monster.
    Bersaba had once loved to collect stones on the beach, but now she had lost interest in that and said it was childish. She liked to ride—so did I. On our first day we went off with the cousins and it was not long before we noticed that Bersaba was not with us. She had a passion for getting lost. Rozen and Gwenifer had come with us and there were two grooms.
    I said: ‘She will join us or go back to the castle. She likes to be alone sometimes.’
    We didn’t worry about her as my mother would have done.
    I was right. She did come back to the castle. She said she had lost us but had no intention of curtailing her ride just because of that. She knew the countryside well and was not afraid of meeting brigands, for she reckoned she could gallop faster than they could.
    ‘You know Mother doesn’t like us to ride alone.’
    ‘My dear Angel,’ she answered, ‘we are growing up. There may be lots of things we do of which Mother would not approve.’
    I knew that she was slipping away from me then and the invisible cord which bound us together