ease.
Iâd said, âJesus, that is one fucking great pill.â
Heâd smiled, said, âRead John Straley, see how long it lasts.â
Who? I didnât care.
Then Stewart did an odd thing. OK, everything the guy did was odd, but he came to where I was stretched out on the sofa and presented me with a long leather case.
I asked, not caring, âAnd this is?â
He gestured for me to open it.
Inside were seven beautiful knives, exquisitely made, like the Gurkhas use.
I gazed at them in total admiration, whistled, âWow.â
He gave that enigmatic smile, like
wow
was asmuch as he could expect from me, explained, âKabuki knives. Youâll notice there are seven, for each stage of my life.â
The Xanax had kicked in big time and I could listen to whatever Zen bullshit he wanted to pedal. I muttered, âAnd which number are you on now?â
He lifted one out gently, with more care than if it was a baby. âThe sixth, I term it . . . Iâll explain when you are a little further along the road to enlightenment.â
I was cool, or indeed
chill
enough to ask, âSo, these knives, they tell you what?â
He leaned right into my face, said in a stone tone, âWhat do they tell you, Jack?â
Even with the pill, I was ready to rumble,
You know, they tell me fuck all. And mainly they tell me, you need to get out more
.
I said, âTheyâre impressive. What are they meant to be â the Seven Samurai?â
He stared at them. âThey are for the seven levels of evil. Each one removes another layer of the ills that bedevil our world.â
I should have paid more attention to what he was telling me, and later Iâd learn exactly what the levels of evil were, but then they were just knives â impressive but, you know, just fucking blades. Iâd seen enough of them and was tempted to say,
A Stanley knife is just as useful
. But the Xanax whispered,
Who cares?
He stood back, considered me, then said, âStand up.â
Was he kidding? Iâd eat him for breakfast. But what the hell, he wanted to take a shot at me. I was up for it. He moved right into me, his arms hanging by his sides, palms outwards in the classic show of non aggression, said, âHit me.â
I laughed. Long time since Iâd had cause and I donât suppose the medication hindered my mood either. I scoffed, âYouâre fucking kidding.â
He didnât move, his face set in a serious mode. âI mean it, Jack. Hit me with all youâve got.â
I shook my head. âStewart, I like you. You piss me off with all the Zen bollocks. But hit you? I donât think so.â
He never moved, said, âYouâve got a limp, a hearing aid, and a dead child to your credit.â
I swung with all my might and . . . whereâd he go? I hit air.
He was standing to my right, smiled, asked, âThat your best, Jack? Losing your sight too?â
I lashed out with me foot and missed again. Where was he getting this speed from? For five more minutes, I tried in vain. Zip, nada, couldnât touch him.
He said, âWith Zen and a few other Eastern disciplines, Iâve learned how to be at one.â
I was breathing hard and seriously pissed. âYeah, did you learn how to hit, though?â
And I was flat on my back, a throbbing in my throat where heâd taken me with the side of his left hand.
Guess that answered that.
When I got my wind back, I said, âYouâre good. Whatâs your point?â
He did a flexing routine, said, âAs well as Zen, I can teach you some moves that will make you less vulnerable.â
I said Iâd think about it. When I was leaving, he was standing at the door. I said, âOh shit, forgot me jacket.â He turned and I rabbit-punched him. As he went down hard I said, âIt ainât Zen but it sure is effective.â
Iâd swear, though he had to be hurting, he was
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