Samuel Johnson Is Indignant Read Online Free PDF Page B

stop.
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    Old Mother makes an unpleasant remark about one of their lamps.
    The Grouch is sure Old Mother is insulting him. He tries to figure out what she is saying about him, but can’t, and so remains silent.
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    The Grouch is on his way out with heavy boxes in his arms when Old Mother thinks of something else she wants to say.
    â€œHurry up, I’m holding these,” says the Grouch.
    Old Mother does not like to hurry when she has something to say. “Put them down for a minute,” she tells him.
    The Grouch does not like to be delayed or told what to do. “Just hurry up,” he says.
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    In the middle of an argument, the Grouch often looks at Old Mother in disbelief which is either real or feigned: “What a minute,” he says. “What just a minute.”
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    Well into an argument, Old Mother often begins to cry in frustration. Though her frustration and her tears are genuine she also hopes the Grouch will be moved to pity. The Grouch is never moved to pity, only further exasperated, saying, “Now you start sniveling.”

    The Grouch often arrives home asking such questions as:
    â€œWhat is this thing? Are you throwing coffee grounds under this bush? Did you mean to leave the car doors unlocked? Do you know why the garage door is open? What is all that water doing on the lawn? Is there a reason all the lights in the house are on? Why was the hose unscrewed?”
    Or he comes downstairs and asks:
    â€œWho broke this? Where are all the bath mats? Is your sewing machine working? When did this happen? Did you see the stain on the kitchen ceiling? Why is there a sponge on the piano?”
    Old Mother says, “Don’t always criticize me.”
    The Grouch says, “I’m not criticizing you. I just want certain information.”
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    They often disagree about who is to blame: if he is hurt by her, it is possible that she was harsh in what she said; but it is also possible that her intentions were good and he was too sensitive in his reaction.
    For instance, the Grouch may be unusually sensitive to the possibility that a woman is ordering him around. But this is hard to decide, because Old Mother is a woman who tends to order people around.
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    Old Mother is excited because she has a plan to improve her German. She tells the Grouch she is going to listen to Advanced German tapes while she is out driving in the car.
    â€œThat sounds depressing,” says the Grouch.
    The Grouch is cross about his own work when he comes home and therefore cross with her. He snaps at her: “I can’t do everything at once.”
    She is offended and becomes angry. She demands an apology, wanting him to be sincere and affectionate.
    He apologizes, but because he is still cross, he is not sincere and affectionate.
    She becomes angrier.
    Now he complains: “When I’m upset, you get even more upset.”
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    â€œI’m going to put on some music,” says the Grouch.
    Old Mother is immediately nervous.
    â€œPut on something easy,” she says.
    â€œI know that whatever I put on, you won’t like it,” he says.
    â€œJust don’t put on Messiaen,” she says. “I’m too tired for Messiaen.”
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    The Grouch comes into the living room to apologize for what he has said. Then he feels he must explain why he said it, though Old Mother already knows. But as he explains at some length, what he says makes him angry all over again, and he says one or two more things that provoke her, and they begin arguing again.
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    Now and then Old Mother wonders just why she and the Grouch have such trouble getting along. Perhaps, given her failures of tact, she needed a man with more confidence. Certainly, at the same time, given his extreme sensitivity, he needed a gentler woman.

    They receive many Chinese fortunes. The Grouch finds it correct that her mentality is “alert, practical, and analytical,” especially concerning his